Doogie Talons
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Industry | Internet |
| Occupation | Developer |
| Location | United Kingdom |
| Links | Wishlist |
| Introduction | "Like a mindless hawk swooping on dead babies." That's how interweb-warrior-legend and lady guru, Doogie Talons, views his relationship with the internet. "I am the ruler of the web thingy and making virtual stuff appear on the screens of all PC slaves is what I do breast. That is my strong point. That is the gift baby Jesus gave me in the heavens. However, when it comes to my interpersonal skills I'm an idiot with big hair and clammy hands." This frank confession (from an exclusive interview for "Tennis Elbow Magazine") hides the fact that Doogie is a trained serial killer with 2,408 dead people mashed up to his credit. He is also a top lust bucket, with 14,002 bitches licking his eyes. When he's not killing, loving or webbing it up big style; DT likes to curl up into a naked ball in a room and cut his arms with knives. The soundtrack to this self harming event is always dub. Doogie Talons trained at the school of life where he met Guy Gooberman in the refectory smoking a crack bong the size of a house. Both men cried and celebrated by spazzing their minds up. Mr Talons is not to be mocked or laughed at but petted like a shaggy dog story just come in from the rain. |
| Interests | Web Stuff, Hunting and Killing imaginary beasts, Toxopholy, Cereal Killing |
