Jesse

My blogs

Gender	Male
Occupation	Dying Slowly on the Inside
Location	Buffalo, NY
Introduction	Born in the slums of Ellsworth-Maine, I was raised by a sexually unstable irish setter named Mr. Bo Jangles. At the age of 7 I became immortal when I beheaded Sean Connery and used his severed head to win that year's NFL Pass, Punt & Kick competition. I trained for the next year with the murderous Gallo Brothers of the Napa Valley. At the age of 15 I deflowered your sister. I apologize for that. I was young and foolish. Then I time traveled twenty years backwards and became my own father, which caused me to not exist, which caused my father to be my father again, which caused me to exist again. Now I play chess on my computer and steal my neighbor's mail.
Interests	two-wheeled unicycles, beer in oddly shaped bottles, puro (Japanese professional wrestling), bench pressing babies, helimonsters, helicopters, hockey, jumping over tiny puddles, the smell of a freshly fired handgun, cereal box racing, hugging you when you're sleeping.

Do I know why the caged bird sings?