withthevampsofcourse

Blogs I follow

Gender	Female
Industry	Chemicals
Occupation	relaxation therapist
Location	the OC, United States
Introduction	the details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do i begin? my father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. my mother was a fifteen-year-old french prostitute named chloe with webbed feet. my father would womanize, he would drink. he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. my childhood was typical. summers in rangoon, luge lessons. in the spring we'd make meat helmets. when i was insolent i was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. at the age of twelve i received my first scribe. at the age of fourteen a zoroastrian named vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- i highly suggest you try it.
Interests	what i've really gotten into lately is kickboxing. do you know kickboxing? sport of the future? i can see but your face that the answer is no.
Favorite Movies	i don't watch movies. obviously.
Favorite Music	read one of my fics. i make it obvious.
Favorite Books	merriam-webster's dictionary. chocolate is NOT candy.

Which do you prefer and why: whittling with soap or whistling with wood?

well, obviously i pick "whistling with wood", because not only does the error inherent amuse me, but it's also an insanely dirty thing to ask of me.