Mad Aunt Bernard

My blogs

Blogs I follow

About me

Industry Non-Profit
Occupation Hag
Location St. Vitus,, Cornish State of Trebollocks
Introduction I am a thoroughly eccentric woman who likes tortoises on certain days of the week. (When it is not those days, I shall not write about tortoises). My hobbies include hiding, fishing (for anything except fish), and I teach Advanced Shrieking. I have never fallen down a well, but I have looked at a policeman through a telescope. My spiritual power guide is The Whelk. I am a hundred and eleventy-twelve, but look much older. I think I could win X-Factor if I wore sandals more often and copied Clodagh Rodgers.
Interests Fish and their habits, shrieking, poking sticks down holes, cow-tipping, cheese, scaring small children, fine arts
Favorite Movies I only relate to three films, Snatch, Whistle Down The Wind, oh and the other one, Chopper
Favorite Music Folk, Thrash Metal, Accordion Music
Favorite Books The ones that prop up my bed leg, Tolstoy, Spike Milligan, Faust, Thomson Local Directory, Marco Pierre White