Jabby
My blogs
| Industry | Environment |
|---|---|
| Occupation | Primary production |
| Introduction | I'm a cactus. I attend Ashland University with my eccentric brother, Patrick Schnieders. He is my brother from another mother. For the first three years of our living arrangement, I barely ever got watered (perhaps once each month, if he remembered) and sunlight. Now, due to the kindness of someone I will call “Skippy”, every other morning I get a dose of water with fertilizer mixed in. But Skippy graduated and Patrick still more or less completely ignores me, which leaves me little other choice but to peer out at the world from my perch alone on a 9th-story windowsill and contemplate the meaning of life. With no one to keep me company, I spend my lonely days photosynthesizing. I also frequently abandon myself to hard liquor, powerful painkillers, fast cars, and faster she-plants. My only constructive outlet is the study of the textbooks Pat leaves lying around the room. Someday I hope to return to my people in the desert where I belong, but that will probably never happen. I want to cry, but I can't spare the moisture. - - - |
| Interests | Photosynthesis |
| Favorite Movies | The Rambo movies |
| Favorite Music | ZZ Top |
| Favorite Books | The Count of Monte Cristo |