The Adventures of Smilin' Jack

My blogs

Gender	Male
Occupation	Doing as little as possible.
Location	Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, Wales, United Kingdom
Introduction	The details of my life are quite inconsequential... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my head. There really is nothing like a shorn skull. It's breathtaking - I suggest you try it
Interests	I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.