Jen and Tonic

About me

Gender Female
Industry Publishing
Location Portland, Oregon, United States
Introduction When I'm not seeking therapy for my Xenuphobia (extreme fear of Tom Cruise) I'm curating the world's most amazing David Hasselhoff fan site.
Interests Trying to figure out life's greatest mysteries: (1) How Paris Hilton became famous (2) Why getting behind the wheel of a Prius causes drivers to believe they can't go over 35 MPH (3) How people convince themselves spray tans look natural (4) What we did as people to make god punish us with the invention of Crocs (5) Why people insist on giving their pets human names
Favorite Movies Anything pretentious. This way I can sit around coffee houses in skinny jeans, bangs that cover my eyes, and listening to bands nobody has ever heard of while talking to my friends about what losers everyone else are for being so mainstream.
Favorite Music Seeing as how I did not just drop acid, I don't listen to techno or trance. Seeing as how my dog didn't just die, I don't listen to country. Seeing as how I don't have sublimated upper-middle class white rage, I don't listen to screamo. A-Ha's "Take on Me" is my favorite song, and is closely followed by George Michael's "Careless Whisper."
Favorite Books I can't read....or write...or do 'rithmatic

What was the stage name of your favorite actress before she was born?

Zygote McFetus