Flann O'Coonassa
My blogs
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Occupation | Begrudger (professional) |
| Location | Ireland |
| Introduction | Flann O'Coonassa is the controversial, best selling author of ‘Beating the Breathalyzer: the Garlic Escape’, ‘Avoisioning the Taxman’ and ‘Was Jesus Obese?’ He was born circa 1922 in a slurry pit among the rolling badlands of Leitrim, Ireland. The delivery was so traumatic that neither mother nor father survived. Holder of a master’s degree from the school of hard knocks, a PHD from the college of tough breaks, and an online diploma from the University of Nebraska, Flann agonisingly slithered from the primordial sludge of his hellish, institutionalised upbringing to become arguably the world’s most celebrated thinker since Plato. Famously described by Joan Collins as “that jackass”, Flann’s popularity has exploded in the last decade amidst the skyrocketing success of self-help literature and unsubstantiated, loosely researched non-fiction. Also a disqualified lawyer with an astute eye for loopholes, Flann often boasts of being “acquitted more times than arrested”. The actual ratio is an impressive 1:3. Flann has sired many children in Ireland, America, Cambodia and Thailand, some of whom he supports financially. |
| Interests | I'd be heavily into the racism, if I'm honest. Unusually, I'm exclusively racist toward white people, despite being Caucasian myself. I can't explain it, although I never used to feel this way before I fell off a horse and banged my head off a rock in 1972. I also lost the ability to blink in that accident. |
| Favorite Movies | The Wilogy (i.e. the Free Willy trilogy) |
| Favorite Music | Anything featuring the little known Accordio-pipes instrument. Picture the bastard offspring of a male accordion and a female set of bagpipes, and you're in the right territory. |
| Favorite Books | Animal Surgery for Dummies, Human Surgery for Experts, Chasing the Dragon: the Mary Harney story, Our Life in Music - the Cheeky Girls |