BASTARDO
My blogs
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Industry | Internet |
| Occupation | Provocateur |
| Location | Athens, Mars |
| Introduction | I keep in peak ass-kicking condition by wrestling parking meters, speedbagging sacks of kittens, and stealing hearts. I have the last four Republican presidential candidates' bumper stickers on my Honda Civic, and I drive them with pride. I am a ladies' man, not a lady's man, which means I am into at least two women at a time. I am serious - don't swing game at me if you aren't bringing a girlfriend you won't mind seeing naked. I am a hardcore, old school dude, through and through. I do an hour of Tai Bo every morning while listening to the original motion picture soundtrack to Dirty Dancing, then drink two raw eggs blended with a banana and go fight five live bears. I have appeared in over ten pornographic home movies ranging from The League of Extraordinary Genitals to Napoleon Dynamite Does Dallas (all available to rent, just ask me). I play bass in a Van Halen coverband called Panama Jump and we kick ass like a Jean-Claude van Damme movie. |
| Interests | Kick, Punch, Chop, Block |
| Favorite Movies | Only Rocky movies. (Okay also Rambo and BLOODSPORT.) |
| Favorite Music | Andrew W K because he likes to party like me. Oh and Van Halen. Oh and NIGHT RANGER YESSSSSS! |
| Favorite Books | Martial Arts books, Guns & Ammo, anything that improves my mastery of my domain |
If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?
what