Gender	Male
Industry	Tourism
Occupation	Weight Guesser
Location	downtown dowagiac, michigan, United States
Introduction	i have a hard time opening things, but i don't have the foresight to carry a knife. i fear my eyes are growing farther apart and my legs closer together. if i left the room, someone who doesn't know me might say, "who was that nervous guy standing on one leg?"
Interests	comic books,literature,ring lardner,graphic novels,dowagiac,michigan,humor,crosses,new orleans,coffee,bourbon,wounded minnow,pia zadora,fat cats,fear of wallpaper,sacred clutter,jack kerouac look-alikes,sweet sadness,hating best buy,rants,hubig's pies,whispering,crochet tattoos,butts,gluteal folds,unsolicited advice,military intelligence,math,variant pronunciations of coupon,andy griffith,seinfeld,small letters,backyard mysteries,kayaking,frogs,strechenbach,famous elmers,richard brautigan,dead celebrity seances,girls next door
Favorite movies	barfly,star wars,batman (60s)
Favorite books	on the road,fear and loathing in las vegas,dharma bums,confederate general from big sur,nine stories,round up

The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

i saw her in the door eight years ago like i saw the star closet to the watertower eight million years ago like i see you now.