Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land

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About me

Gender Male
Industry Government
Occupation Lord over all Hobbits and master banana thief.
Location A small shack., The Candy Kingdom
Introduction Meet Trip Castalan. He has a real name too, but he'll only tell you if he likes you. Hello! Not the sperm guy.
Interests Why should I tell you? What if you use them against me? Huh? What kind of monster does that? HUH?
Favorite Music The bleeping noise my microwave makes when it's finished. It's in no way horrible! (Help me. They have me captive, they're forcing me to promote their range of microwaves! Send a SWAT team or something!)
Favorite Books Instructions from Ikea products, rulebooks to games... and... erm... Skulduggery Pleasant? Yeah, those are cool, I guess.

You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.

Climb up the wall.