The Pedant
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Industry | Law |
| Occupation | Malingerer |
| Location | The Headquarters of the Arsenal of Democracy, East Coast, United States |
| Introduction | Okay, okay, I don't really dance naked in Dr. Pepper. That would be sticky. I am fascinated by the concept of getting smashed while making the world taste better, though. |
| Interests | Cooking with Dr. Pepper, Mixing Alcohol with Dr. Pepper, finding other alternative uses for Dr. Pepper, shaking a bottle of Dr. Pepper vigorously and dancing naked in the spray, law, Sherbs, video games, current events, pretending I'm better than you, the Washington Post Style Invitational Contest, plotting to slander people regarding their propensity to set stuffed animals on fire, esoteric role-playing games, Iron Chef, attempting to juggle despite my lack of any training or practice and then looking perplexed when I fail miserably, butting into other people's conversations |
| Favorite music | German heavy metal, Euro-dance with off-color lyrics, hits of the 80's |
| Favorite books | Infinite Jest, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell |
You've broken up with your old band and are about to release your first solo album. Please write the liner notes:
Sick of the cocaine use and clear neurosyphillitic symptoms of his bandmates, The Pedant decided to strike out on his own, creating a clean sound so pure that no one else in the world could appreciate it.