Gender	Female
Occupation	Awesome
Location	Joplin, MO, United States
Introduction	My name's Whitney. I despise arrogance. I'm ridiculously disorganized and scatterbrained but also obsessed with cleaning. I tell pointless stories and embarrass myself regularly. I laugh at everything. I love roadtrips and spending money I don't have to see people that I love.
Interests	Debate, Government, Apples to Apples, The United Nations, Baseball, Super Nintendo Entertainment System, Nintendo 64, History, Cartoons, Philosophy, Traveling, FreeCell, Kansas City Royals
Favorite movies	10 Things I Hate About You, American Beauty, American History X, Anchorman, Atonement, The Brave Little Toaster, The Big Lebowski, Burn After Reading, Clue, Closer, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, Father of the Bride, High Fidelity, Inglourious Basterds, Kill Bill, Kill Bill: Volume Two, Little Miss Sunshine, Mean Girls, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Moulin Rouge!, My Cousin Vinny, My Fellow Americans, Office Space, The Other Boleyn Girl, The Royal Tenenbaums, Pulp Fiction, Requiem for a Dream, The Sandlot, Shaun of the Dead, The Shawshank Redemption, Sherlock Holmes, Sin City, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, V for Vendetta, WALL•E, Wayne's World, What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Favorite music	Death Cab for Cutie, Foo Fighters, Gorillaz, Guster, Incubus, Jack's Mannequin, Jimmy Eat World, Lady Gaga, Maroon 5, Matchbox Twenty, Michael Jackson, Minus the Bear, Panic! At The Disco, Under the Influence of Giants, Weezer
Favorite books	Foreign Affairs, The Economist Magazine, Religion, History, Funny in Farsi, High Fidelity, Chuck Palahniuk, I Am America and So Can You, The Thesaurus

Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?

You're making the assumption that carrying a bow and arrow and carrying a mandolin are mutually exclusive. I'm like a Boy Scout ... always be prepared; however, if I happened to forget my mandolin and only had my bow, I'd say screw the bow and just start singing some Ke$ha. A cappella, baby.