Catharnachist
My blogs
| Industry | Engineering |
|---|---|
| Occupation | Human Engineer/God |
| Location | Königsberg, Brandenburg-Prussia |
| Introduction | My nickname in college was "The FingerPrince" for reasons I won't get into here. So far I'm the oldest I've ever been and I really enjoy long walks on the Arctic shore, drinking room temperature Natural Lite straight from the can; wearing wife-beaters with bow ties; and eating any Chef Boyardee with the word "Gourmet" on the label. I gradated from the Lilliput University in 2009 with a degree in the Pimping sciences and am currently living the American dream as a self-employed prostitute. Jealous? I have 16 cats, 3 of which are children I've dressed as cats and have litter trained. One day, I hope to make enough money off of this blog to quit selling myself. Between the toilet paper and the career, I'm a little sore if you know what I mean. |
| Interests | Collecting Dinosaurs; Collecting Pokemon; Shuffling Earth plates like a deck of cards; Cursing at the Gods in the style of Chris Cornell; Making toilet paper out of gumballs and pine cones in an effort to reduce my carbon footprint (it's a tedious pain in the ass); Using hand sanitizer so frequently I've eaten away my fingerprints; |
| Favorite movies | Anything by/with Ed Wood, Nicholas Cage, Brendan Fraser, Vin Diesel, Michael Bay, and/or Kurosawa. |
| Favorite music | Tiny Tim, The Best of Traditional Alpine Yodelling, Heavy Metal Bagpipes, Anything sung in Castrato, and anything by Young Jeezy. |
| Favorite books | The Very Hungry Caterpillar, 50 Shades of Gray, 72 Shades of Chartreuse, The Idiot's Guide to Blogging, and Hemingway. |
When you've got water stuck in your ear, how do you get it out?
Usually I watch CNN, MSNBC, or Fox News. These channels give me an uncontrollable urge to bash my head into a wall with a runnig start. The resulting subdural hematoma forces the water out due to the flow of fluid and/or blood out of my ear canal(s).