mikesheffler
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Industry | Science |
| Occupation | Mathematician |
| Location | Santa Barbara, California, United States |
| Introduction | I was born beneath a conveyer belt in an steel foundry in rural China. My parents could not afford food, so I was fed rejected die-cast tools produced at the factory in which they worked. The trace amounts of chromium slowly increased my hardness and melting point, while the high-purity Chinese vanadium reduced my susceptibility to mechanical fatigue. When I was eight years old, I travelled to the coast to illicitly secure passage to America aboard a cargo ship. On my second day in the city, I discovered a crate of Wade Boggs action figures bound for Seattle and discretely deposited myself inside. Eventually, I arrived in America. Near the port, I stole a Thermos of egg drop soup, a box of hard biscuits, and a large American dog. For three-quarters of each of the 17 biscuits, the dog -- who, like Sam Neill in The Hunt for Red October, had always wanted to see Montana -- agreed to let me ride upon it as far as Spokane. Having obtained a Bachelor's degree in Mathematics/Computer Science and a Master's degree in Mathematics from America's inferior educational system, I now work as a mathematician for a weak, American company in Santa Barbara, California. |
| Interests | Mathematics, Gin, Complete World Knowledge In The Areas Of My Expertise, Macroeconomics, Architecture, Cycling, Drinking with sick children for the Make A Wish Foundation, Old fashioned hole diggin', Playing guitar, The ancient and secret art of Ninjitsu, Milhouse |
| Favorite movies | The Royal Tenenbaums, Lost In Translation, Trainspotting, Syriana, The Squid And The Whale, Rushmore, Little Miss Sunshine, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, Gattaca, Office Space, Groundhog Day, Unbreakable, Pulp Fiction, Wonder Boys, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind |
| Favorite music | The Decemberists, Death Cab for Cutie, Bright Eyes, Sufjan Stevens, The Long Winters, Jon Brion, The Shins, The Postal Service, Belle And Sebastian, Neutral Milk Hotel, Ted Leo + Pharmacists, Elliott Smith, Wolf Parade, Modest Mouse, Devendra Banhart, Iron And Wine, The Books, Radiohead, Paul Simon, The Hold Steady, Matt Pond PA, Rlio Kiley, Tool, Andrew Bird, The Long Winters, Architecture In Helsinki, Mark Knopfler/Dire Straits, Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers |
| Favorite books | Lord Of The Flies, One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Catcher In The Rye, Atlas Shrugged, The Sandman, Watchmen, Fight Club, Lord Of The Rings, The Areas Of My Expertise, The Stand, A Big-Ass Heap Of Non-Fiction |
Try writing your name with your other hand. Where was that person raised?
In a 19th century British orphanarium ... no, wait, that's still me.