derreckbennett
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Location | Evansville, Indiana, United States |
| Introduction | I am 10-foot tall and bulletproof. I enjoy long walks on the beach, movies with happy endings, and making out with your mom. In high school, I was voted "Most likely to get shot, stabbed, or thrown off a high-rise for not keeping my friggin mouth shut." I cried when I first heard that; but I assure you, they were tears of joy. My worst fear is spontaneous combustion. What an awful way to go. You're walking down the street; it's a beautiful day; the birds are singing; suddenly, for no apparent reason at all, you F**KING EXPLODE. I pray that never happens to me, although, based on my diet, I am probably a good candidate. I'm a Scorpio, but don't let that fool you. Not all Scorpios are as intelligent as astrologers would have you believe. I never passed the SAT because I couldn't spell it. I'm so dumb, I make Einstein look smart. I know--that doesn't make any sense. My greatest advice: Dance like nobody's watching; Love like you've never been hurt; Sing like nobody's listening; And put this in your mouth while nobody's looking. |
| Interests | Brutally beating helpless old women after taking their money; Mosh-pitting with two of each kind of animal on Earth (in a bigass boat during a world flood, of course); Cutting in line at amusement parks to the dismay of many a Japanese tourist; Spelling words out with Cheeto's while pretending to be mute when I participate in Spelling B's; Beating school-age children at Chess BADLY; Giving false hope to those with big dreams but no talent; And last but not least...jackhammer reach-arounds from Fergie! |
| Favorite movies | Anchorman, Groundhog Day, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Contact, Field of Dreams, Team America: World Police, The Matrix, The Ring, Gladiator, Troy |
| Favorite music | Anything, so long as it features outlandish Yodeling. I'm not picky. |
| Favorite books | Angels and Demons, Sphere, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Reason Driven Life, and The Money is the Gravy. |
You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
I will go the route of Tom Cruise's character in Vanilla Sky by having metal and glass go to my head. That ought to keep me good and humble.