Hidden Mess to Goddess

My blogs

Gender	Female
Location	Surrey, United Kingdom
Introduction	I am a 40-year-old mum of 3 who has always “liked a drink”! I can control it when I really have to, pregnancies, new babies, driving, work etc. and have done odd months off here and there. I don't often blackout, fall over and am not always the most drunk but my problem is that I remain unable to just have one, and desperately wish that I was “normal”(?!) so that I could just stop after one or two. Why can’t I control it? Is it in the family? As the children have got older, my drinking has increased and often drink a bottle of wine more nights than not. I hate that fact that people see me as a girl that likes a drink, but continue to do nothing but to fuel the observation! When I wake up slightly jaded, I am annoyed and then spend the day vowing not to drink that night, but come 4ish the little inner voice begins to provide me with reasons why I should! My drinking was getting worse, and life is exhausting with the constant "chatter' and feelings of guilt, so enough is enough!