Neil Shakespeare

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Industry Arts
Location VOIDSVILLE, VOIDSVILLE
Introduction It's all Neil's fault that I'm in the mess I'm in. I met him on the set of A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION. "Hi, Party Girl," he said. "Wanna party?" And, I mean, how could I resist? He had all these opium samples in this, like, doctor's bag and I went, "Wow! Where'd you get all those?" and he explained how he was a lobbyist for some opium farmers or something. And then we were all, you know, high and everything and I poured out my heart to him. I told him how much it bothered me that people saw me as this loose party girl and he says, "Oh, pshaw! You're young, have fun! For heavenssakes, Lindsay, you're a movie star! Live it up!" And that's how I wound up on the path to perdition. Like, six times in rehab or something, and now on my way to jail. It's all that damn Neil's fault!!