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For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Dear Senile aunty of mine Thank you for the thoughtful gift, iv always wanted one of these, makes it easier for me to spread the syrup all over my boyfriend umm sorry pancakes right before i eat em up!!! Cant wait to try them out!! Hope ur taking ur alzheimers meds. Luv Phoenix.