|Interests||Obscure television pilots, Barry Manilow, Captain Ahab, Furbies, Mormons, 8 Tracks, Ketchup|
|Favorite Movies||Wun Blee Chung Dee|
|Favorite Music||Ray Conniff, 101 Strings, Alice Cooper, Frank Zappa, Fat Elvis|
|Favorite Books||The Necronomicon|
For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Thank you so much Aunt Jasper for the rooster syrup dispenser! Every morning when eating my pancakes I get to squeeze my cock and think of you!