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About me

Industry Science
Occupation archaeologist
Location Somewhere In, Texas, United States
Introduction I have a passion for punctuation. I know all the words to Shoop (and I'm not afraid to sing them to a bar full of people). I cuss in front of children and old people. I have seen every episode of Star Trek TNG (three times). I read at least a book a week. I laugh with little kid abandon. I do not think your kid is cute (probably).

For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Dear Aunt So-and-so, Thank you so much for the rooster-shaped syrup dispenser. Since my kitchen is so small, and syrup comes in a lovely squeezy dispenser bottle already, I've decided to store your gift in my trash can. It goes perfectly with the decor. Next year, please remember that gift cards and cash are the preferred method of gifting. Happy holidays!