William
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Occupation | Commander-in-Chief of the lemming army |
| Location | Alexandria, VA |
| Introduction | I'm stupendously intelligent. And riotously hilarious. And adverbially adverbial. |
| Interests | News, literature, philosophy, Scotch, science, cuttin' muffins (look it up), Ones that are cold |
| Favorite Movies | Lost in Translation, Garden State, Super Troopers, The Godfather (I and II) |
| Favorite Music | The Shins, Nickel Creek, etc. |