Gender	Male
Industry	Communications or Media
Occupation	Repin' the 'Burbs
Location	Brooklyn, NY, United States
Introduction	I'm a nice guy who finishes last...in bed. At the same time, I don't like this "finishing first" business. What happens if I'm banging a girl for 45 min., then I finish and she never does? I feel like I shouldn't have that stigma after 45 min. of awesome, especially because girls can still enjoy sex if they don't orgasm. At least that's what they tell me. Anyway, for some reason when I walk up/down the stairs, I prefer to end on my right foot. I rock out in my car harder than you can imagine. I want to open up a Jewish strip club called "The Skynagogue." I have tons of ideas that will probably never come to fruition. If there's a Skittle on the ground, I will eat it, unless it's the lemon/lime flavor from the red pack. Not worth it. I'm obsessed with the phrase "House it!" Seriously, just say it out loud...it's so much fun. "HOUSE IT! HOUSE IT! HOUSE IT! HOUSE IT! HOUUUSSSSSE IT! Moving on, I'm pretty lazy, but I prefer head while I'm standing. Whenever I take a shit I always make sure to flush the pee first so it doesn't splash onto my buttcheeks...I hate that. Also I don't blog on weekends: I'm too busy getting drunk.
Interests	Skittles, Before I get into everything else I feel like it's necessary to point out that I did a search on other bloggers that like Skittles and the first 50 people were either girls or dudes from England...that can't be good., I like my job, sports, females (Sometimes. Not "sometimes cuz I'm gay" I mean "sometimes cuz females piss me off"), I am a certified ass-man (someone needs to start a website where you can get "ass-man certification" kind of like how you can become a certified priest you know?), boozin' is always fun, I enjoy spending time with Mary (not the virgin the hairy smelly appetite-inducing green one), I also enjoy masturbating (which is obviously cool since "everybody's doing it"), and last but not least - long walks on the beach...with your mom. House it!
Favorite movies	Tommy Boy, The Usual Suspects, Kung Fu Hustle (most underrated movie of all time), Godfather I and II, Dumb and Dumber, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Black Sheep, The Big Lebowski, Step Brothers, You Don't Mess With The Zohan
Favorite music	Punk Rock, Rap, Rock, Classical, Jazz., Basically there's too many bands to list so I'll be quick, Punk:, Pennywise, Bad Religion, Blink 182, Offspring, H20, Green Day., Rap:, B.I.G., Nas, Jadakiss, Outkast, Wu-Tang, Lupe Fiasco., Rock:, Sublime, Dispatch, Nirvana, Weezer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rage Against The Machine, Incubus, Tenacious D, Led Zeppelin, Queen, AC/DC, Aerosmith, The Beatles, Somewhere in between:, The Bloodhound Gang.
Favorite books	Harry Potter books were sick. So sick that there were times on Friday nights when we had parties upstairs and I was downstairs in my room re-reading Harry Potter. Amazingly I got more ass those nights than I usually did.

Describe the sound of a moist waffle falling onto a hot griddle.

It's a sound that immediately lets you know that someone is making moves, and something awesome is happening. It's like, "ttssssssssss" - so nice. It's that sizzle sound that everyone loves. It means you're that much closer to eating. If you don't think that's a sweet-ass sound then there's something undoubtedly wrong with you.