Ben
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Location | Michigan, United States |
| Introduction | Women form lines outside my door, hoping for nothing more or less than the sight of my dazzling smile. I hit home runs without stepping up to the plate, and I bake delectable desserts with the intensity of my gaze. I have been in a morgue. England’s top rugby teams scout me for my sense of smell and rugged handsomeness, Martha Stewart takes my decorating advice, and Harry Potter is a loose biography of my life so far. Little children hang on my every word. The local wildlife have learned to come to me in their time of greatest need. I consume slightly more water per week than the average human. I am both an unstoppable force and an immovable object. I have traveled the world, supped with kings, pirated cargo ships, faxed documents, discovered elements, and dressed myself in the morning. I built Rome in a day. I was the last person to see the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and the first to eat Wonder Bread. |
Chicken monkey shoes?
Absolutely not. I'm a fan of tribal duck shoes.