Lewd Bob

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About me

Gender MALE
Industry Communications or Media
Occupation Footman
Location Behind the Water Pipes, Third Washroom Along, Victoria Station
Introduction Bob was born on a limited express on the Belgrave line in 1970s Melbourne, the son of a blacksmith and her husband, Ron. He knows a bit about a few things but not a great deal about most things. He's spent time blowing his own trumpet, only to become unstuck when the bell rang. He once balanced 16 peas on a fork and caught four beans in a trilby only to find the hat was already home to a squadron of Nazi shrews with gum disease. Taking poor advice is Bob's main strength, and wisdom only comes to him by accident, usually on the bus from the village of Baa. Reconsidering Christmas is Bob's favourite pastime, and he only drinks water when it's been hailing. He once dated a girl two sizes too tall, but fell in love with a steel bucket named Phil. Niceties elude him and cartwheels are his preferred mode of travel. Please drop Bob a line, or preferably a wheelbarrow full of pasties. He can usually be found eating a casserole on the fourth day of every ninth month under the elm tree on the corner of White and Ripple. He likes long stalks along a sandy creek in June and sews with vehemence.
Interests Music, Literature, Cricket, Film, Punctuation, Footy.
Favorite Movies Jarmusch, Kubrick, Coens, Scorsese, Tarantino.
Favorite Music Built to Spill, Grandaddy, Sparklehorse, Dylan, Of Montreal, Stephen Malkmus, Pixies, Stones, Pavement, Neutral Milk Hotel, Ween, Nick Cave, Beatles, Silver Jews, Lambchop, Blur, R.E.M., The Cure, The Smiths, Tom Waits.
Favorite Books Anna Karenina, War & Peace, Crime & Punishment, 100 Years of Solitude, Dead Souls, Fathers & Sons, Bleak House, Tale of Two Cities, Buddenbrooks, The Road, Vernon God Little, Midnight's Children, Woody Allen's Complete Prose, and many many more.

Which is easier to make a model airplane out of and why: a banana peel or a wet sock?

A canon.