American Dirtbag
My blogs
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Location | Midwest, United States |
| Introduction | Average. Awkward. Mediocre. Pessimistic. Problematic. Uncomfortable. All boring words, all great describers of yours truly. I’m as American as apple pie and as average as the so-so sex you have with your girlfriend every other Tuesday after bowling league. I stand 5’9” tall, weigh in at 175 pounds, and hell, even my dick is of average length. (Assuming you add a half an inch of sack to the length your penis length, which I do.) Not to mention I have sex like a typical American male. It lasts 2-3 minutes, I only do missionary, I talk too much, I sweat too much, I make way too much eye contact, and it always ends with me having a seizure-esk orgasm before passing out. Just the way the ladies like it. I don’t know if it’s because my mom smoked during pregnancy (it was the 80’s after all), but I turned out to be one awkward, clumsy, no-filtered, lackluster mother fucker. And that’s why you should get to know me. So sit down on that toilet, make sure you have enough TP for that shit you are about to dominate, and enjoy the read… ya jerk off. |
| Favorite books | Me Talk Pretty One Day |