In Search and Raw
My blogs
| Introduction | I am insanely jealous of those people who are happy, truly happy from within, smiling through their eyes. I struggle to find happiness, such peace & I find myself questioning, from where to they find it? Questioning & judging. I have a wonderful life; the life I have always wanted. Yet, I lack happiness. I find myself often in sorrow & wading through fog, for no reason. Or the fog lifts & I am here. But, I don't want to just be here... I want to feel, I want to live, I want my eyes to show that I have a great life deep within me. I've only recently begun the journey to find this life. I am unsure of the answers and am filled with questions. Is it God I am lacking? Those with faith seem to thrive and have that shine, that glimmer, & peace,even when their life appears to be a living hell to the outsider. Is it rearing? Nurturing? I search & pull back the layers. I am challenging myself to break the mold I was prescribed. I am questioning, feeling,& expressing. I am raw. It hurts like hell. It lingers and it sneaks up on me. But I am in it to find that glimmer. More than anything, I am in it to save my kids; that they never have to search. |
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