Derek Kohlhagen
| Gender | Male |
|---|---|
| Introduction | I, Derek, be defender of truth, justice, and the Kohlhagen way. I wield the ability to spout off things about which I know very little. I also only recently learned to make a mean grilled cheese sandwich (The secret is to throw a slice of ham in there.). She, Jennifer, be my wife, confidante, and recent baby-bearer. I love her with the impact of ten professional wrestlers from whose collective leg lock there is no escape. She is a mighty force in a tiny brunette package, and you will fear her. I have tamed her and taught her to love me as much as I love myself. |
| Interests | Interests are for the weak. |
| Favorite movies | Movies are for the weak. |
| Favorite music | Music is for the weak. |
| Favorite books | Books are for the weak. |
You've successfully slain the dragon! How will you toast your marshmallows?
Marshmallows, above all other things, are for the weak.