JMO
My blogs
| Introduction | My name is Jason, and I’m a really cool guy. At least that’s what my mom told me right before she abandoned me in a national park when I was a young child. Luckily I was taken in by a pack of wolves. I got along well with the wolves. We never had to hunt wild game, because I could use my opposable thumbs to pick up a payphone and order pizza or Chinese food. Pizza delivery guys taste a lot better than elk. As the years went by I decided to become a first generation professional. My wolf-mother could have attended college, but she had to stay home to take care of her litter. At first college was hard. The only English I knew was what I learned from the delivery guys. “Oh God! Oh God! AHHHHH!” and “My legs! Stop eating my legs!” don’t exactly make for thought-provoking conversation. After a while, though, I got the hang of it, and I even learned how to debate without going for the face. My real break came when the editor of the school newspaper mysteriously “disappeared” (*hint* newspaper editors taste just like diseased buffaloes). It didn’t take much convincing for the publications board to decide that I should have the job. |
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