Matthew Thomas
My blogs
| Industry | Fashion |
|---|---|
| Location | Afghanistan |
| Introduction | Matt rose to prominence in WW1 during the Christmas truce, when he convinced both sides to stop pissing about and get back to the war, he received the Victoria Cross. In 1939 he returned to the front line, but for a change of scene fought for the Axis Powers. In the interests of fairness he switched sides in 1941. His role in winning the war for the Allies is recounted in Churchill’s little known speech entitled, ‘Matt Thomas is Fucking Awesome.’ (Rotary Club, 1946) Tiring of military life he began teaching music. Early student’s included Elvis, Little Richard and James Brown -who when he first came to Matt was a white woman named Janet. Matt formed the Beatles and the Rolling Stones so that they could battle in the charts for his amusement -contrary to popular belief ‘Brown Sugar’ is about Mick Jagger’s love of Matt’s carrot cake, (which is fucking good). Later, for a laugh, he invented punk. A decision he regrets to this day. In recent times Matt has turned his hand to technology inventing mobile phones, the internet and the George Foreman grill (litigation ongoing). He lives in Cheam and has two cats, he prefers one to the other but tries not to let it show. |
| Favorite movies | Anything with that talking guy in, the one with the hair, wears a lot of shirts |
| Favorite books | Ones where it turns out to be the guy you didn't think it would be but on reflection it was quite obvious |