Delete comment from: Captain Capitalism
Earlier, a previous commenter made an excellent point about the importance of learning to be happy by yourself, whether you ultimately choose to ever date again or not. But it occurs to me that some may benefit from a more explicit definition that operationalizes the concept, that is, defines it in terms of how rather than merely what. If that sounds like you then you may wish to read "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. While it is intended for people who still wish to date, the insights are just as valid whether you choose to ever date or not. Burns’ other book "Feeling Good" also exposes the interesting scientific results from “bibiotherapy,” (yes, it’s a real word), the practice of simply reading the latter book as being just as effective as antidepressant drugs for depression, yet with none of the conspicuous side effects. However, if you find Burns’ later suggested exercises too time consuming and/or tedious, you may find Eckhart Tolle's books, and in particular his "The Power of Now," at least as effective and vastly more efficient, not to mention other books on mindfulness such as "The Willpower Instinct" that are remarkably helpful in the establishment of good habits, as well as reducing bad habits and addictions. And yes, sometimes that means an addictive relationship, or addictive notions about the necessities of life and living along with the distinction between the two. And as that aforementioned earlier commenter also observed, Burns wholly concurs as well; once you are truly able to enjoy being happy by yourself, the likelihood that you may meet someone healthier will improve significantly, but even if you never choose to date again it won’t matter, because you will be a winner either way. Your present and future happiness will be ensured because you will no longer base it on something outside yourself, with your former so-called “happiness” ever at the mercy of something or someone. If any of this proves to be the help you sought all along but didn’t realize at the time, I encourage you to pass it along to at least one other who you care about and suggest that they do likewise if it proves of help to them as well. Who knows? It may just be the beginning of the end for this particular affliction of the heart and mind that has plagued humankind for far too long.
KM
May 28, 2016, 11:01:09 PM
Posted to You Started It, But We'll Finish It