Love that! Love Lenny Schafer! I get silence and shrugging shoulder's whenever I ask "what besides vaccines do all of these children have in common?" If it looks like the piano is responsible over and over and over, it's the piano, even though the piano most times plays good things.
11:03 AM
Raining Pianos: A Short Course on Anecdotal Evidence By Lenny Schafer, 2003
Patient: Doctor, my son has this terrible headache. He's dizzy and he's been fainting a lot. He says his arm is numb.
Dr. Steinway: What happened?
Patient: We were walking down the street and a piano fell on his head.
Dr. Steinway: I see. Mmmm. Anything else happen at the time that might have caused this?
Patient: What do you mean, "anything else?" A PIANO FELL ON HIS HEAD!
Dr. Steinway: Perhaps, but that's only a temporal coincidence. Several epidemiological studies done by eminent scientists have failed to find a connection between pianos and concussions. The cause could be any number of environmental factors. Kids get bumped by stuff all the time. Only a rare few get concussions. Maybe your child has a genetically predisposed soft skull. Any family history of concussions? Münchhausen by Proxy? Hypochondria?
Patient: But I was there! I saw it falling from the second story of a piano factory! I couldn't get him out of the way fast enough and he caught a piece of the candelabra. If it's not the piano, what else could it possibly be?
Dr. Steinway: Hysteria, guilt. What you're telling me is called "anecdotal evidence". Such evidence can be either evaluated for further research, or completely dismissed as useless without even looking at it, depending on the interests or bias of the researchers. The important thing is that it isn't pianos . . .hey wait, where are you going, we're not through. . .
Patient: I'm going to look for care somewhere else, and to see a lawyer to sue the piano company. . . and maybe even you.
Dr. Steinway: [to himself] Uh huh, lawyers. I thought someone might have put her up to this. Lawyers. . .taking advantage of ignorant hysterics looking for something to blame for their woes. . . The problem's not pianos, the problem is lack of tort reform. . .she wouldn't even let her kid have one of our complimentary "We're Silly for Eli Lilly" clinic balloons.
posted by Ginger Taylor at 10:17 AM on Jul 5, 2008
"How to Deny the Vaccine Autism Connection: A Play in One Act"
1 Comment -
Love that! Love Lenny Schafer!
I get silence and shrugging shoulder's whenever I ask "what besides vaccines do all of these children have in common?"
If it looks like the piano is responsible over and over and over, it's the piano, even though the piano most times plays good things.
11:03 AM