Actually you do kinda look like a profesional commedian.
January 29, 2008 at 1:07 PM
Anonymous said...
When asked how this falling satellite might cause panic on the already fragile stock market, Donald Trump replied; "I am very concerned about a further economic meltdown if this satellite falls faster than Rosie O'Donnell's career."
January 29, 2008 at 1:08 PM
Anonymous said...
"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" cried Chicken Little in his State of the Union.
"The satellite bus was found just miles from the Pacific near downtown Pago Pago, with the infamous contender for the Presendtial Campaign Mr. Matt-Man- AKA Mr. Bagwine. Reports are showing that the bus was never intended to explode, but in fact, was used as a torch for the bonfire to roast the pig"
It is now reported that a graphic, Mondrian-esq vehicle has entered the earth's atmosphere. People of all ages are running for cover, mother’s cradling their children’s ears, Baby Boomers crying, “Say it ain’t so!” as many run for cover to escape the resounding tune of C’mon get Happy!
AP - The Bismarck, North Dakota chapter of the DeForest Kelley Memorial Fan Club has already started plans to celebrate the landing of the satellite as it was prophesied in the original Star Trek series (Season 4, episode 17, scene 21, minute 39) when the Klingon Admiral cloned Sulu to poison Scotty's hairpiece. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy have not returned several calls to state if they will attend the festivities.
Two hundred cult members have gathered in the desert with a big bucket of kool-aide to "celebrate" the bus's return to Earth.
In his state of the union address President Bush referred to the bus-sized satellite as a "dirty bomb" and implied that he might have to raise the national threat level to it's highest level and impose martial law.
"We WILL find out who the little bastards who sabotaged this satellite are and bomb the shit outta them" Said Bush
When it was implied that aliens might have done something to cause the satellite to die, President Bush became angry and said that if Congress had built the wall along the Mexican border like he had wanted this never would have happened.
CNN reported this event is much like George W.'s presidency - state of the art technology that simply never met expectations or worked out quite like people thought it would and now is just dead and will soon fall to earth.
Upon landing, Ken Keasey stepped out of the bus and announced, "This concludes the Electric Kool-Aid Acid test and I believe I can safely say, we all passed."
Darn it. I never win at anything. Oh wait, yes i do... scrabble! ;-)
January 30, 2008 at 2:18 PM
OK lets play a game. This should be fun because you guys are very funny and quick thinking. Here is how it works. I will summarize a recent news story and you fill in the next line of the story with a witty or funny but obviously untrue way to end it. Here is the story and a few of my examples:
I read in the news that there is a spy satellite the size of a bus that is going to come crashing down to earth sooner or later. They say that it was launched years ago and was supposed to be the biggest new state of the art technology but it simply never met expectations or worked out like they thought it would. Now it is just dead and will fall to earth soon. __________________________________ . (you finish the story)
My examples:
-White House spokesperson Dana Pirino downplayed reports today that this was the satellite that gave us the inaccurate information on the WMD that were never found in Iraq.
-Campaign officials denied reports today that this satellite actually contained Fred Thompson's Presidential campaign momentum.
-NFL commissioner Roger Goodell today dispelled rumors that this satellite originally worked properly but became non-operational after being tugged out of orbit by the gravitational pull of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' ego. The NFL is however worried that it may crash land through the hole in the Texas Stadium roof.
-TMZ.com confirmed today that there is no truth to online gossip indicating that this satellite actually held Paris Hilton's singing career but it may have held her inheritance.
You get the idea... Give it some thought and let's see what you guys can come up with. Let's have some fun with this and if it goes over well we can play every Tuesday!!
29 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment form'Our CNN correspondant tried to contact Big Brother for a comment but their phones were dead.'
January 29, 2008 at 12:09 PM
Oh for the love of God!
I slave over a hot keyboard All day long to provide fresh material for my own blog and now you want material for your own?
Do I look like a professional comedian?
Isn't there enough pressure in my life right now?
Said bus is now set to land on the Fox Channel as a new reality series, "My mother, the space bus."
There, are you happy now?
It took me hours to come up with that little gem...
You better be loving it.
Don't make me come over there...
January 29, 2008 at 12:52 PM
Actually you do kinda look like a profesional commedian.
January 29, 2008 at 1:07 PM
When asked how this falling satellite might cause panic on the already fragile stock market, Donald Trump replied; "I am very concerned about a further economic meltdown if this satellite falls faster than Rosie O'Donnell's career."
January 29, 2008 at 1:08 PM
"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" cried Chicken Little in his State of the Union.
January 29, 2008 at 1:38 PM
Good stuff ya'll... I know others have some funny stuff too.
January 29, 2008 at 1:48 PM
"Sadly a woman in Manhattan was crushed by the satellite as she was not paying attention while eating her sushi feedbag."
January 29, 2008 at 1:53 PM
Sir Richard Pump-a-loaf??? hymn...
Okay let me ponder this. I must be inspired. Hey, there should be a prize for the winner.
January 29, 2008 at 1:58 PM
I think can create a prize... a Trophy for the weekly winner... No problem. I can come up with something.
January 29, 2008 at 2:04 PM
THEN I MUST WIN!!! ;-)
January 29, 2008 at 2:41 PM
The name Sir Richard Pump-a-Loaf reminds me of one of Vince's old roomates.
January 29, 2008 at 2:50 PM
"A new NASA report indicates that falling object is not a satellite, but infact one of NASCARs cars of the future."
January 29, 2008 at 2:59 PM
Al Gore ties the event to the on going problem of Global Warming.
January 29, 2008 at 3:32 PM
"The satellite bus was found just miles from the Pacific near downtown Pago Pago, with the infamous contender for the Presendtial Campaign Mr. Matt-Man- AKA Mr. Bagwine. Reports are showing that the bus was never intended to explode, but in fact, was used as a torch for the bonfire to roast the pig"
January 29, 2008 at 3:38 PM
Perez Hilton is said to be bent over in anticipation of the arrival of the bus and it's possible extraterrestrial occupants.
January 29, 2008 at 3:41 PM
HA! - These are really starting to get good... I like them.... BTW - you can enter as many as you like.. I will pick the winner tomorrow morning.
January 29, 2008 at 3:55 PM
NASA is said to be attempting to recruit Gene Simmons tongue as a landing strip.
January 29, 2008 at 4:12 PM
ok I better quit ;)
January 29, 2008 at 4:13 PM
It is now reported that a graphic, Mondrian-esq vehicle has entered the earth's atmosphere. People of all ages are running for cover, mother’s cradling their children’s ears, Baby Boomers crying, “Say it ain’t so!” as many run for cover to escape the resounding tune of C’mon get Happy!
January 29, 2008 at 4:17 PM
AP - The Bismarck, North Dakota chapter of the DeForest Kelley Memorial Fan Club has already started plans to celebrate the landing of the satellite as it was prophesied in the original Star Trek series (Season 4, episode 17, scene 21, minute 39) when the Klingon Admiral cloned Sulu to poison Scotty's hairpiece. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy have not returned several calls to state if they will attend the festivities.
January 29, 2008 at 4:40 PM
Two hundred cult members have gathered in the desert with a big bucket of kool-aide to "celebrate" the bus's return to Earth.
In his state of the union address President Bush referred to the bus-sized satellite as a "dirty bomb" and implied that he might have to raise the national threat level to it's highest level and impose martial law.
"We WILL find out who the little bastards who sabotaged this satellite are and bomb the shit outta them" Said Bush
When it was implied that aliens might have done something to cause the satellite to die, President Bush became angry and said that if Congress had built the wall along the Mexican border like he had wanted this never would have happened.
January 29, 2008 at 4:49 PM
HA !!! I love them all!
I need to get working on that trophy!
January 29, 2008 at 5:34 PM
-It was reported that the bus is coming down to take Tom, Katie and Suri back. Tom phoned home.
January 29, 2008 at 6:32 PM
Shoot. I go reading comments before posting mine and now I'm blank. (But the comments were fun to read as always!)
Very unique post, well done!
January 29, 2008 at 8:17 PM
CNN reported this event is much like George W.'s presidency - state of the art technology that simply never met expectations or worked out quite like people thought it would and now is just dead and will soon fall to earth.
January 29, 2008 at 9:28 PM
Upon landing, Ken Keasey stepped out of the bus and announced, "This concludes the Electric Kool-Aid Acid test and I believe I can safely say, we all passed."
Yeah, baby!
It was a Magic Bus.
January 30, 2008 at 1:36 AM
LMAO @ Tom phoned home!!
January 30, 2008 at 1:24 PM
Leighann... I liked that one too. Jahoooooni was in the top 3
January 30, 2008 at 2:02 PM
Darn it. I never win at anything. Oh wait, yes i do... scrabble! ;-)
January 30, 2008 at 2:18 PM