Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons was because he was criticized because of his wide stance on the toilet and was constantly taunted to go 'shit in the woods'.
Mt. Cat, that is soo funny, how, tell me how, any one can top that? can't stop laughing............ .............................. Must be a Mountain Cat, Bear thing huh? Shit, that's funny........
thanks fellas! Hey I just saw some guy in the long long Chop't salad line smoking a cigarette! Ahhh that salad ain't gonna help you buddy! I can't stop laughing!!!
Doc, Don't knock the Pecos Peach! That drink contained more alcohol than those whiskey's y'all were drinking. Don't let the little umbrella stirer fool ya! hahahhaah
Pement was heard to comment, "If they didn't want to be sprayed with bear spray why were they wearing them on their heads?"
Pement commented, "I left my glasses at home and thought it said Beer spray."
Pement said, "Have you seen the girls in that bar? You'd think they'd thank a guy for trying to hook em' up."
Pement said, "Hell, with the circus tickets I threw in too they shouldn't have any problem picking up the Russian trainers at the Ringling Brothers show."
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was due to the fact that he was accosted from behind. Apparently no one informed him that B&B stood for Burly & Bodacious.
OH....Dana wins! And my entry was totally along the lines of Leighanns...
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was that he didn't realize he was at gay bar. Of course, the B & B stands for Bears and Buddies.
"Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was ... because everyone knows that the sweet, sweet smell of bear piss turns the girls on. They can't resist it."
February 19, 2008 at 4:47 PM
Anonymous said...
Jay - Cmon' dude...
If that joke had been any lamer it would have qualified for a handicapped parking permit...
---because he mistook the word BEAR for BARE and thought it was a magical spray sure to drop the clothes of fellow bar patrons. Pement later stated that he "Hadn't been laid in nearly a year."
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was ... during the last several years Alaskan Woman have gone radical; choosing to grow leg,arm and twat hair out like burly bears. At the local town meeting all the redneck men decided to come up with simple solution. Bear Spray. Directions: spray up close to hairy areas, in a bar (of course), hairy areas become irritated therefore must be shaved. Burp.
Okay really, I am totally at a loss. Leighman will win again but the rules should be: can only win one peach per year!!!!
February 19, 2008 at 5:20 PM
Anonymous said...
...for no other reason than he lives in Kodiak, Alaska. Nut'n else to do.
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying patrons with bear spray was that he had spent so much time that day tryng to come up with a winning answer to the B&B's Saturday Night Word Game, scribbling, thinking, talking out loud, disrupted his whole damn day, couldn't get shit done, well he was damn pissed and he walked in just before the winning answer was to be announced and held that spray out in front of their faces and said, "I can't stand it, I can't stand it any more, take this as my entry"
was that he.... was a secret agent spy for the US Government hired by dear ole' president bush and Bear Spray is used in Texas to capture any foriegn drunks.
maybe funny. just a tiny bit. hoping.
February 19, 2008 at 10:24 PM
Today's Word Game comes to us from the state of Alaska. Fill in the blank portion of this real news article with a humorous off the wall response and the best gets a little prize they can post on their blog if they wish:
KODIAK, Alaska - A man faces assault charges after allegedly spraying bar patrons twice with bear spray. Kodiak police charged Daniel Pement after the incidents Saturday and Sunday at the B&B Bar. The spray is a kind of pepper spray used to ward off a bear during an encounter. Police said Pement was escorted from the bar on Saturday, but returned 15 minutes later and allegedly sprayed customers. Police talked to him later and took the bear spray, but were called away on a more urgent matter.
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was _______________________.
-Doc
(my submission: because they were constantly picking on him and his crush on Brittney Spears)
35 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formReports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons was because he was criticized because of his wide stance on the toilet and was constantly taunted to go 'shit in the woods'.
February 19, 2008 at 11:43 AM
BWAAHAHAAHAAAAAAA !!!
February 19, 2008 at 12:11 PM
Mt. Cat, that is soo funny, how, tell me how, any one can top that?
can't stop laughing............
..............................
Must be a Mountain Cat, Bear thing huh?
Shit, that's funny........
February 19, 2008 at 12:56 PM
thanks fellas!
Hey I just saw some guy in the long long Chop't salad line smoking a cigarette! Ahhh that salad ain't gonna help you buddy! I can't stop laughing!!!
February 19, 2008 at 1:56 PM
This is a hard one this week... that was funny TMC! Let me get my funny juices flowing again so i can maybe win the peach!
February 19, 2008 at 2:17 PM
Yeah where is everyone? I can't win the peach! That would be wrong. LOL.
'Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons was because he said 'Bear Spray?!?! I thought I bought hair spray!'
February 19, 2008 at 2:31 PM
WIN THE PEACH - WIN THE PEACH !!!!
(Mt. Cat can't win)
February 19, 2008 at 2:31 PM
'Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons was because the bartender refused to serve him a Pecos Peach fru-fru drink'
February 19, 2008 at 2:41 PM
Doc, Don't knock the Pecos Peach! That drink contained more alcohol than those whiskey's y'all were drinking. Don't let the little umbrella stirer fool ya! hahahhaah
February 19, 2008 at 3:03 PM
Suuuuuure it did. And so did those airplane bottles you used to drink... LOL!
February 19, 2008 at 3:06 PM
Pement was heard to comment, "If they didn't want to be sprayed with bear spray why were they wearing them on their heads?"
Pement commented, "I left my glasses at home and thought it said Beer spray."
Pement said, "Have you seen the girls in that bar? You'd think they'd thank a guy for trying to hook em' up."
Pement said, "Hell, with the circus tickets I threw in too they shouldn't have any problem picking up the Russian trainers at the Ringling Brothers show."
Is that enough or should I continue?
February 19, 2008 at 3:11 PM
Pement comented, "Bear spray was the only way I thought I could get some boars-head from those hogs."
February 19, 2008 at 3:13 PM
Those are good ones Dirkstar!!
February 19, 2008 at 3:14 PM
Pement commented, "As grizzly as those girls looked I thought it was the only perfume that matched their appearance."
Pement said, In my defense it was an honest mistake, did you see the hair on those girl's legs?"
February 19, 2008 at 3:16 PM
Pement was heard saying, "Hey, I was only trying to get her to give me the Hot-Koala."
February 19, 2008 at 3:19 PM
That's all folks!
February 19, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Pement said, "By golly You're right, on second glance she does look more like Elmo than Fozzy Bear."
February 19, 2008 at 3:22 PM
Dirkstar, Whoa easy on the Red Bull big fella! LOL
February 19, 2008 at 3:26 PM
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was
so that he could do a little "bear back mountin'"
February 19, 2008 at 3:47 PM
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was due to the fact that he was accosted from behind. Apparently no one informed him that B&B stood for Burly & Bodacious.
February 19, 2008 at 3:50 PM
Hee Hee, these are starting to get good !!
February 19, 2008 at 3:55 PM
OH....Dana wins! And my entry was totally along the lines of Leighanns...
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was that he didn't realize he was at gay bar. Of course, the B & B stands for Bears and Buddies.
February 19, 2008 at 4:00 PM
Karen, you are so good to me! Does that mean I get *your* peach???
February 19, 2008 at 4:12 PM
crap, how can I win now????!!!!
February 19, 2008 at 4:12 PM
Pement stated, "I thought it would go jwith their Bear Essentials makeup."
DirkStar incognito...
February 19, 2008 at 4:24 PM
"Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was ... because everyone knows that the sweet, sweet smell of bear piss turns the girls on. They can't resist it."
February 19, 2008 at 4:47 PM
Jay - Cmon' dude...
If that joke had been any lamer it would have qualified for a handicapped parking permit...
Focus, Cynicalsan! Best humor still inside.
DirkStar Incognito...
February 19, 2008 at 4:56 PM
---because he mistook the word BEAR for BARE and thought it was a magical spray sure to drop the clothes of fellow bar patrons. Pement later stated that he "Hadn't been laid in nearly a year."
February 19, 2008 at 5:19 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
February 19, 2008 at 5:19 PM
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying the bar patrons with bear spray was ... during the last several years Alaskan Woman have gone radical; choosing to grow leg,arm and twat hair out like burly bears. At the local town meeting all the redneck men decided to come up with simple solution. Bear Spray. Directions: spray up close to hairy areas, in a bar (of course), hairy areas become irritated therefore must be shaved. Burp.
Okay really, I am totally at a loss. Leighman will win again but the rules should be: can only win one peach per year!!!!
February 19, 2008 at 5:20 PM
...for no other reason than he lives in Kodiak, Alaska. Nut'n else to do.
February 19, 2008 at 6:18 PM
Reports indicate that the reason Pement gave for spraying patrons with bear spray was that he had spent so much time that day tryng to come up with a winning answer to the B&B's Saturday Night Word Game, scribbling, thinking, talking out loud, disrupted his whole damn day, couldn't get shit done, well he was damn pissed and he walked in just before the winning answer was to be announced and held that spray out in front of their faces and said, "I can't stand it, I can't stand it any more, take this as my entry"
February 19, 2008 at 7:17 PM
he was on drugs and thought yogi and boo boo were trying to steal his picnic basket.
February 19, 2008 at 7:24 PM
Keep them coming folks... Winner announced in the morning!
February 19, 2008 at 10:05 PM
was that he.... was a secret agent spy for the US Government hired by dear ole' president bush and Bear Spray is used in Texas to capture any foriegn drunks.
maybe funny. just a tiny bit. hoping.
February 19, 2008 at 10:24 PM