Post a Comment On: Playing D&D With Porn Stars

[Image] 1. Othiqqa Abbefesque Welles-Weaning, an unscrupulous vendor of spirits, seeking to acquire the rare rum of Eliator in bulk saleable quantity and they heard someone down here knew how to get there. Accompanied by bodyguards--two 3rd level fighters and one thief/scout with backstab x3. In the Maze of the Blue Medusa, the Bondye Reparee or however they're fucking spelled are onto them as non-numinous beings and will kill them on sight. Such agents are the equivalent of Rogue Traders in 40k--their liquor licenses and credentials are worth 3,000gp in Vornheim. She will also pay twice normal prices for any unusual liquor the PCs bring her.
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2. Cormorris Rill, umbramancer. Weary, bent, he of the tattooed skull and grey monocle. 6th level wizard specializing in illusion magic and shadow-themed negative energy type stuff. He seeks to enslave the various shadow creatures of the dungeon, and to steal strange artificial light sources for his experiments. Along with him: a hypnotized chameleon woman guide and a vicious wardog named Spit.  Carries a vial of liquid shadow and a map showing the location of every room and door within 200' of wherever he's encountered.
[Image] 3. Rolling spore: An organic fungoid sphere 5' across with cold, pink and velvety skin. It emits a peachy aroma that inebriates anyone failing a save for 5 minutes. Slicing it open (20 hp, AC as leather) spills wretched monster-attracting goo on everything (roll 3 encounter checks now) and reveals its heart which can be used to grow 4 more.
[Image] 4. Poorly-animated backpack moving spiderwise on tethered weapons (longsword, shortsword, climbing axe, staff) while still attached to and dragging around a lifeless corpse. The disturbing result of a falling-out between a sorcerer and her hired retainer. The assortment can attack with one weapon at a time (whichever one isn't being used as a "leg"). Following the drag marks and blood trail back leads to a few more of them and the entire party's loot--6 people worth of gear plus a spellbook containing 4 unique spells levels 1-4, 1800gp in gems, rings, holy symbols, and other typical adventurer tat. The sorcerer has one Sleep spell in her before she dies. Or maybe a Fireball. If the party doesn't trace the thing back immediately to its lair, the smell attracts more monsters.
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