Post a Comment On: Playing D&D With Porn Stars

[Image] This was the most entertaining image I could find to go with this table.
Paste your own NPCs' heads over these guys and make your own relationship map! 
D100

1, Sword's hilt emblazoned with a rampant stag
2, Coward and inbred woman sitting by a fire
3, Arrowhead of black glass (of disruption)
4, 700' structure made of ice, its head buried in cloud
5, Venison stew with onions
6, A song sung about a cruel father
7, Two women arguing about how to skin a rabbit
8, A crippled and fugitive heir
9, A blonde prophet who suffers seizures
10, Steel climbing claws
11, A royal bastard, skilled in cunnilingus
12, Ranger/Barbarian, female, level 7, red-haired, jealous
13, Snow that falls in reverse
14, A straw effigy used for target practice
15, Robin hood rip-offs served by a drunken monotheist
16, Ambitious priestess of the flame goddess
17, Scarred and one-eyed warrior, unable to die
18, Faithless moron, scion of a sailing house, being tortured
19, Lord arranging for a vassal to marry blindly
20, Vermeerish light falling on a blue-scarfed matron
21, Non-lovers about to be wed, discussing their wedding by a pre-Raphaelite pond
22, Halfling scheming with his sister
23, A steel artifact with a lying legend attached.
24, A bald spymaster with a fear of chaos and a vendetta
25, A prince playing St Sebastian with a concubine
26, Fur-clad barbarians assaying an icy peak
27, Lovers boring everyone
28, A compass rose whose spiked teeth spin
29, The least pleasant man you've ever met, and boss of a bridge
30, A generation of northern men, all raised beneath the same roof, all possessed of the exact same facial hair
31, A war map with chunky and symbolic wooden pieces
32, A letter to a mother, or a letter to a spy-handler disguised as one
33, A jealous and moustached lunatic
34, A sad idiot on a sun-drenched veranda, regretting past naivetes to a shrewd friend
35, An efficient and heartless mercenary who dispenses sound advice
36, A throne room filled with columns and flames
37, A woman beloved by young monsters
38, A walled city, threatened by an army of eunuchs
39, Solid gold chains given as a gift to a scorned woman
40, A bastard in a harbor strewn with wreckage
41, A noble raiding party--of no more than 20
42, A maimed swordsman, held for ransom
43, A pair of teasing girls in the house of a sadist
44, A stone windmill, much discussed
45, A learned man tending to a gruesome stump
46, Horsemen escorting a prisoner down a slope
47, A woman in a dress fighting a creature in a pit with a wooden sword
48, A ziggurat city, crowned by a dominating and heraldic statue
49, A deformed mercenary on a black horse, eating apples
50, A rolling green moor by a fork in a calm red river
51, A queen attended by a pair of Charlton Heston-like generals
52, 3 swaggering mercenary lords in who act like Spinal Tap
53, A prisoner reading a genealogical history
54, A lord who fears an endless night
55, A god sends an utterly convincing supernatural event
56, A great round window with a star in bar tracery
57, An immensely powerful snotrag
58, You're never safe in a room with that many candles
59, A cleric with a permanent Neutralize Poison cast on her tongue
60, Unattractive women, eager to undress
61, A spell powered by the blood leeches suck
62, An awkward wedding feast made yet more awkward by an angry dad
63, A collonnaded balcony overlooking both a great hall and a spreading blue sea
64, Drunk halfling vomiting
65, A lone wight, portended by a plague of shrieking birds
66, A row of spurned daughters, their heads downcast
67, An obscene old man in fingerless gloves
68, Two servants who do not trust a third
69, A castle with a secret entrance, known only to a steward
70, One old man with 8 good horses, protected by rangers
71, A cart laden with supplies, bound for a feast, accosted by a merciless killer
72, An outlaw with a flaming sword
73, Six young travelers trapped in a tower with a giant and a level 1 wizard
74, Two wolves: one white, one black
75, A vicious eagle
76, The greatest whistler in the land
77, Three 12th level fighters set upon by 20 first-level ones
78, A gift of both a bride and her weight in silver
79, A cake frosted in a pale and inauspicious green
80, Minstrel assassins
81, A camp full of drunken soldiers
82, A civil ceremony used as a trap
83, A season that lasts 100 years
84, Rivals join in civil war against a mad king
85, A city that provides a refuge for escaped slaves
86, A demon-haunted city destroyed by a mysterious doom
87, A wall rumored to have been built by giants
88, Towers linked by arches and rope bridges
89, A name that is the default name for illegitimate children
90, A hall with a hole in the middle
91, A great ditch which can be flooded during sieges
92, A castle immune to magic
93, A fortress that is a statue
94, A dark-eyed lenscrafter
95, Guardsmen who marry their axes
96, A city full of men with dyed, forked beards
97, A city where a bloodthirsty tribe are forbidden to shed blood
98, Blue-lipped warlocks
99, A plaza reserved for punishment
00, 8 scheming bastard daughters

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For best results, combine with Thorism, Tolkienism and He-Man/She-Raism

Like:
Hex 4556: 3 trolls arguing with a queen half-living, half-dead and an obscene old man in fingerless gloves with a hand of steel
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