[Image]TransGriot Note: Santa Baby has always been one of my favorite Christmas songs, so I got the humorous idea one day of singing the song from a transwoman's point of view.
Sung to the tune of `Santa Baby' by Eartha Kitt
Santa Baby, just slip some hormones under the tree,
For me.
Been an awful good girl, Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa honey, I need some electrolysis, too
I do.
I'll wait up for you dear, Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa I am being dissed.
'Cause I was born a mister and
Not born a miss
Next year, I'll be really good
If you'll check off
my surgery wish list
[Image]Santa Baby, I want lipo to make me look hot
Why not?
Been an angel all year, Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa, Honey, one little thing
I really need, indeed
Round trip tickets on an airline, Santa Baby.
So hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa Cutie, an early date for my SRS
Please check.
Kunaporn will be fine, Santa Cutie,
And hurry down the chimney tonight.
After my recovery,
I'll need to change my name from Ted to Tiffany.
I really do believe in you.
Let's see if you believe in me.
Santa Baby, please remove the ding-a-ling,
By spring.
I don't want it no more, Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.
Hurry down the chimney tonight.
Hurry . . . Tonight
/********************************************************
This Script will be included in all web pages
to show an Icon on Mouse over,
Clicking the Icon will show a Zoominto Viewer (a Flash made viewer) to Zoom the Image Content
********************************************************/
var tmppluginServername = "http://www.zoominto.com/zoomapi/";
//tmppluginServername= "http://localhost:9999/zoomapi/"
var versionswf="1100";
versionswf="";
var tmppluginSwfname=""
tmppluginSwfname=tmppluginServername + "zoomplugin" + versionswf + ".swf";
var tmppluginimageURL=tmppluginServername + "displayimage.php?image=";
var protocol = "http://";
var isInternetExplorer = navigator.appName.indexOf("Microsoft") != -1;
plugin_run();
function BrowserZoomPlugin() {
var ua, s, i;
this.isIE = false;
this.isNS = false;
this.version = null;
ua = navigator.userAgent;
s = "MSIE";
if ((i = ua.indexOf(s)) >= 0) {
this.isIE = true;
this.version = parseFloat(ua.substr(i + s.length));
return;
}
s = "Netscape6/";
if ((i = ua.indexOf(s)) >= 0) {
this.isNS = true;
this.version = parseFloat(ua.substr(i + s.length));
return;
}
s = "Gecko";
if ((i = ua.indexOf(s)) >= 0) {
this.isNS = true;
this.version = 6.1;
return;
}
}
var browser = new BrowserZoomPlugin;
var dragObj = new Object;
dragObj.zIndex = 0;
function zoominto_dragStart(event, id) {
var el;
var x, y;
if (id) {
dragObj.elNode = document.getElementById(id);
} else {
if (browser.isIE) {
dragObj.elNode = window.event.srcElement;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
dragObj.elNode = event.target;
}
if (dragObj.elNode.nodeType == 3) {
dragObj.elNode = dragObj.elNode.parentNode;
}
}
if (browser.isIE) {
x = window.event.clientX + document.documentElement.scrollLeft + document.body.scrollLeft;
y = window.event.clientY + document.documentElement.scrollTop + document.body.scrollTop;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
x = event.clientX + window.scrollX;
y = event.clientY + window.scrollY;
}
dragObj.cursorStartX = x;
dragObj.cursorStartY = y;
dragObj.elStartLeft = parseInt(dragObj.elNode.style.left, 10);
dragObj.elStartTop = parseInt(dragObj.elNode.style.top, 10);
if (isNaN(dragObj.elStartLeft)) {
dragObj.elStartLeft = 0;
}
if (isNaN(dragObj.elStartTop)) {
dragObj.elStartTop = 0;
}
dragObj.elNode.style.zIndex = ++dragObj.zIndex;
if (browser.isIE) {
document.attachEvent("onmousemove", zoominto_dragGo);
document.attachEvent("onmouseup", zoominto_dragStop);
window.event.cancelBubble = true;
window.event.returnValue = false;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
document.addEventListener("mousemove", zoominto_dragGo, true);
document.addEventListener("mouseup", zoominto_dragStop, true);
event.preventDefault();
}
}
function zoominto_dragGo(event) {
var x, y;
if (browser.isIE) {
x = window.event.clientX + document.documentElement.scrollLeft + document.body.scrollLeft;
y = window.event.clientY + document.documentElement.scrollTop + document.body.scrollTop;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
x = event.clientX + window.scrollX;
y = event.clientY + window.scrollY;
}
dragObj.elNode.style.left = dragObj.elStartLeft + x - dragObj.cursorStartX + "px";
dragObj.elNode.style.top = dragObj.elStartTop + y - dragObj.cursorStartY + "px";
if (browser.isIE) {
window.event.cancelBubble = true;
window.event.returnValue = false;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
event.preventDefault();
}
}
function zoominto_dragStop(event) {
if (browser.isIE) {
document.detachEvent("onmousemove", zoominto_dragGo);
document.detachEvent("onmouseup", zoominto_dragStop);
}
if (browser.isNS) {
document.removeEventListener("mousemove", zoominto_dragGo, true);
document.removeEventListener("mouseup", zoominto_dragStop, true);
}
}
function imgplayerprogress_DoFSCommand(command, args) {
var imgplayerprogressObj = isInternetExplorer ? document.all.imgplayerprogress : document.imgplayerprogress;
}
function zoominto_addElement(divIdName, htmlval) {
try {
var newdiv = document.createElement("div");
newdiv.setAttribute("id", divIdName);
newdiv.setAttribute("title", "");
newdiv.style.position = "absolute";
newdiv.style.display = "none";
newdiv.innerHTML = htmlval;
document.body.appendChild(newdiv);;
} catch (e) {
}
}
function zoominto_addmyelems(divIdName, htmlval) {
try {
var newdiv = document.createElement("div");
newdiv.setAttribute("id", divIdName);
newdiv.innerHTML = htmlval;
document.body.appendChild(newdiv);;
} catch (e) {
//_L(e);
}
}
function zoominto_initializelements() {
zoominto_addElement("plugpanel", " ");
zoominto_addmyelems("plugincheck_0909", "
");
}
function zoominto_GetElementPostion(theElement) {
var selectedPosX = 0;
var selectedPosY = 0;
tmpw = theElement.width;
tmph = theElement.height;
while (theElement != null) {
selectedPosX += theElement.offsetLeft;
selectedPosY += theElement.offsetTop;
theElement = theElement.offsetParent;
}
var tempelement = new Array(selectedPosX, selectedPosY, tmpw, tmph);
return tempelement;
}
function plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(Xwidth, Yheight, divid) {
var scrolledX, scrolledY;
if (self.pageYOffset) {
scrolledX = self.pageXOffset;
scrolledY = self.pageYOffset;
} else if (document.documentElement && document.documentElement.scrollTop) {
scrolledX = document.documentElement.scrollLeft;
scrolledY = document.documentElement.scrollTop;
} else if (document.body) {
scrolledX = document.body.scrollLeft;
scrolledY = document.body.scrollTop;
}
var centerX, centerY;
if (self.innerHeight) {
centerX = self.innerWidth;
centerY = self.innerHeight;
} else if (document.documentElement &&
document.documentElement.clientHeight) {
centerX = document.documentElement.clientWidth;
centerY = document.documentElement.clientHeight;
} else if (document.body) {
centerX = document.body.clientWidth;
centerY = document.body.clientHeight;
}
var leftOffset = scrolledX + (centerX - Xwidth) / 2;
var topOffset = scrolledY + (centerY - Yheight) / 2;
var o = document.getElementById(divid);
var r = o.style;
r.position = "absolute";
r.top = topOffset + "px";
r.left = leftOffset + "px";
r.display = "block";
}
function pluginalertShow(layerid) {
document.getElementById(layerid).style.visibility = "visible";
document.getElementById(layerid).style.display = "block";
plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(280, 115, layerid);
document.getElementById("plugin_btn_activate").focus();
}
function pluginalerthide(layerid) {
document.getElementById(layerid).style.visibility = "hidden";
document.getElementById(layerid).style.display = "none";
}
function zoom_getValidString(){
return "&isValidviewer=1";// all things are valid
}
function zoominto_showflash(zoomres) {
try{
if(zoomres == undefined)
zoomres="600x442";
zoomarr=zoomres.split("x",2)
var divimgplayer = document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player");
divimgplayer.style.display = "block";
divimgplayer.style.visibility = "visible";
//old movie 550 400
// plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(600, 371, "div_plugin_img_player");
plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(parseInt(zoomarr[0]), parseInt(zoomarr[1])+120, "div_plugin_img_player");
// zoominto_setImage();
zoominto_changeobject(document.getElementById("plugpanel").title,zoomres);
} catch (e) {
}
}
function zoominto_closeflash() {
var divimgplayer = document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player");
divimgplayer.style.display = "none";
divimgplayer.style.visibility = "hidden";
}
function hidezoomicon(){
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
function getMouseX( e ) {
return e.pageX
|| ( e.clientX + ( document.documentElement.scrollLeft
|| document.body.scrollLeft ) );
}
function getMouseY( e ) {
return e.pageY
|| ( e.clientY + ( document.documentElement.scrollTop
|| document.body.scrollTop ) );
}
function dhtmlLoadScript(url)
{
var e = document.createElement("script");
e.src = url;
e.type="text/javascript";
// document.getElementByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(e);
document.getElementById("addiv").appendChild(e);
}
function getactualimgdimensions(imgsrc){
zoomintoheavyImage = new Image();
zoomintoheavyImage.src = imgsrc
var tempelement = new Array(zoomintoheavyImage.width, zoomintoheavyImage.height);
return tempelement;
}
function plugin_run() {
var newcss = "#div_plugin_img_player td {padding:0;} \n #div_plugin_img_player th {padding:0;}";
if ('\v'=='v') /* ie only */ {
document.createStyleSheet().cssText = newcss;
} else {
var tag = document.createElement('style'); tag.type = 'text/css'; document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(tag);
tag[ (typeof document.body.style.WebkitAppearance=='string') /* webkit only */ ? 'innerText' : 'innerHTML'] = newcss;
}
var image = document.getElementsByTagName("img");
var totimgLength=image.length;
zoominto_initializelements();
for (var i = 0; i < image.length; i++) {
if (image[i].className.match("myplug_img")){
image[i].onmouseout = function (evt) {
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
}// Zoom icon hidden
zoomarrdim= getactualimgdimensions(image[i].src);
//arrdim[0] - width arrdim[1] - height
if (!image[i].className.match("myplug_img") &&
zoomarrdim[0] > 50 && zoomarrdim[1] > 60) {
image[i].onmouseover = function () {imgvals = zoominto_GetElementPostion(this);
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.display = "block";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "visible";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.left = imgvals[0] + "px";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.top = imgvals[1] + "px";document.getElementById("plugpanel").title = this.src;};
image[i].onmouseout = function (evt) {
imgvals = zoominto_GetElementPostion(this);
strx=imgvals[0];
stry=imgvals[1];
endx=imgvals[0] +imgvals[2] ;
endy=imgvals[1] + imgvals[3];
tmpcurx=evt.pageX;
tmpcury=evt.pageY;
if(tmpcurx > strx && tmpcurx < endx && tmpcury > stry && tmpcury < endy ){
l=1
}
else{
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
};
}// End of Condition Image smaller
if(zoomarrdim[0] == 1 && zoomarrdim[1] == 1){
// remove Image element
image[i].style.display="none";
image[i].style.visibility="hidden";
}
}
}
function zoominto_URLEncode(clearString) {
var output = "";
var x = 0;
clearString = clearString.toString();
var regex = /(^[a-zA-Z0-9_.]*)/;
while (x < clearString.length) {
var match = regex.exec(clearString.substr(x));
if (match != null && match.length > 1 && match[1] != "") {
output += match[1];
x += match[1].length;
} else {
if (clearString[x] == " ") {
output += "+";
} else {
var charCode = clearString.charCodeAt(x);
var hexVal = charCode.toString(16);
output += "%" + (hexVal.length < 2 ? "0" : "") + hexVal.toUpperCase();
}
x++;
}
}
return output;
}
function Closeiepluginpanel() {
closeflash();
}
function logme(txtstr) {
// try {
//alert(txtstr);
return "";
}
function zoominto_changeobject(url,zoomres) {
//Method to Display the Viewer for Image
imgName_bfr=(tmppluginimageURL +url + zoom_getValidString())
escimgName_bfr=escape(imgName_bfr);
trkval = "?chkme=" + imgName_bfr + "&rootstr=" + tmppluginServername;
pagetitle = "";
urlstr = zoominto_URLEncode(document.location);
zoomarr=zoomres.split("x",2)
playerwidth=parseInt(zoomarr[0]);// 800
tablewidth=playerwidth ;//-2 ;//798
playerheight=parseInt(zoomarr[1]);//600;
adwidth=468;//playerwidth -10 ;//768;
adheight=60;
document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player").innerHTML = "
"Santa Baby (TG Version)"
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