Post a Comment On: Horrorthon

[Image] (2009)**
Allie's father is missing. Allie look through her father's papers to find a clue as to where he may have gone. She finds a lot of mumbo-jumbo about seven men responsible for a crime, and thus she returns to her hometown to investigate further. There she learns about the story of Margaret Cauli.
20 years ago, a lot of children were vanishing, only to turn up weeks later, dead and mutilated. The sheriff and six other local fathers decided that local elementary school teacher, Mrs. Cauli, because of her psychic abilities, must be behind the killings. So they torture her husband in front of her, then kill her too, but not before she curses them all. In the intervening years, four of the seven men die mysterious deaths, and as we see before the credits, Allie's father is the fifth.
During the first 15 minutes of the film, a lot of exposition is performed to show us who Allie is and to really make a genuine character out of her. I found myself thinking that wow, this screenwriter is really making an earnest attempt to create a horror film where we really care about the fate of the character. Yeah, I thought that, then her five high school friends show up: a jock, an artsy writer, a slut, and the cutesy couple. These characters were so bland and stereotypical that it diminished any attempt that had already been made to establish this script as genuine.
From there on out, there aren't any surprises. the remaining cast get killed off until Allie can figure out how to end the curse. The only friend that survives is the artsy writer (who I'm now thinking the screenwriter just modeled after himself)



[Image] 5 points if you can guess: is this the protagonist, the slut, or part of the cutesy couple



I still leave this with two stars because it had the good sense not to take itself too seriously. Example: cutesy couple has sex in the woods after deciding to get married. In the middle of the act, guy stops to go take a dump. Girl, with legs spread open asks, "Do you have any paper hon?" Guy responds by running back and taking the girls sock off. Girl then looks at her ring and beams, "I'm getting married!"



Another one: artsy writer is masturbating in the woods. Protagonist asks from behind, "Are you masturbating? Hurry up, I need to talk to you."


[Image]This is what happened when the cutesy guy went to go take a dump instead of having sex.