Post a Comment On: Horrorthon

Fart in megaphone
Then Stan does Jimmy Fund Speech
Just so very wrong

August 19, 2009 8:24 AM

Run, jump over Tom
While farting down in midair
THAT'S sphincter control

August 19, 2009 8:25 AM

(while employed with me at McDonald's...)

Out of McChicken's?
Three McNuggets should work fine
Customer complained

August 19, 2009 8:27 AM

Let's NOT play Boggle
100 points in 2 minutes?
You freak of nature

Nope, no chess either
Checkmate within 7 moves?
I got ONE knight out

August 19, 2009 8:41 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

August 19, 2009 8:52 AM

"What lesson" you ask?
JSP don't give a fuck
Watch out for his ass

August 19, 2009 8:56 AM

QUITE complicated
Whether it's ass, gas, or grass
You're all over it

August 19, 2009 9:01 AM

I hate Bruce Springsteen
His music is generic
Dull as dishwater

Suc k it Mellancamp
You make me puke violently
Just like rap music

What else do I hate…
I don’t much care for Texas
Secede already

August 19, 2009 9:11 AM

Always broke my toys
I'd find headless Star Wars figs
Our dad would glue them

Don't play games with him
Frustrating experience
You will never win

If you start to win
He gets in a foul mood
I have never won

People wonder why
I despise playing board games
It's JSP's fault

I've never played chess
"Why?", you ask, "How can this be?"
It's JSP's fault

I don't play card games
In fact, I don't know how to
It's JSP's fault

Went to his party
Gave me an extra strong drink
I slept the whole time

August 19, 2009 9:17 AM

Sweatpants missing point
Start attacking H'Thonners
See some fireworks

Who is this "Trevor?"
For that matter, who's "Tami?"
And who's friend is she?

I'm Puffinslayer
I have got nothing to do
And nothing to say

Must...feed...18...cats...
Add extra "e" to my name
Can't...post...gross haikus...

August 19, 2009 9:19 AM

Take Super Pac-Man
I schooled him about high scores
Then he schooled me back

August 19, 2009 9:23 AM

HandsomeStan's no saint
He likes to deport people
And then take their jobs

August 19, 2009 9:25 AM

No one's really safe
The Stan will dish and take it
Nice giant green fist

August 19, 2009 9:35 AM

Remember Miko?
He used to visit this blog
Where the hell is he?

August 19, 2009 9:36 AM

And Pac-Man Junior
Don't forget THAT ass-whooping
Because I haven't

August 19, 2009 9:37 AM

To Octo:

He had it coming
Revolutionary War
Should have taught something

August 19, 2009 9:39 AM

While at Disney World
He made me watch 'Tiki Birds'
God that's a bad show!

August 19, 2009 9:49 AM

Sure you want this Stan?
The drunken tales Cat can tell
Like a daiquiri?

A bit of advice
Strawberry daiquiris are
best served on the floor

JSP's love life
at the Showcase Cinema
dumb concessionists

Do I have that right?
Stan dated those dim wits too
some easy targets

and Puffinslayer
too busy gluing his ears
so they looked elvish

Why even bother
JPX has this week bagged
most material

as for JPX
Haikuing all the day long
Do you ever work?

August 19, 2009 10:19 AM

JSP used me
for my N64 set
played while I'm at work

Lured my kids to play
Then he showed them no mercy
made them cry and laughed

Then his Mom called here
sparks flying right through the phone
he left with great haste

Home to empty house
Map of Riverside on desk
Shit, she's coming here!

August 19, 2009 10:27 AM

JSP's not best
In Scrabble I kick his ass
just not in Boggle

Stan wrestled my kids
taught Zeke the famous nut shot
He screwed himself there

One night I recall
JSP babysat Chris
puking through the night

As I remember,
Chris said, "The toilet says Church.
you think it's a sign?"

August 19, 2009 10:39 AM

Whirlygirl too busy
Can't even write one Haiku
That busy? Puh-leeeez!

and where is Miko
thinks he's too damn good for us
We'll just hunt you down

August 19, 2009 10:54 AM

i pitched this topic
but there's no way i can win
ain't cool, ain't clever

August 19, 2009 10:58 AM

Johnny - Don't know him.
I don't know any of you.
Gonna stay that way

You all seem so nice
Sarcasm Entertains me
Work goes by quickly

I'm a math teacher
Heard about the thon for years
Now I'm addicted

Tami loved the Thon
She's a friend of Octopunk
He is a friend to all

Johnny Sweatpants tale:
Kissed me on the mouth after
my wedding! - not true.

August 19, 2009 11:01 AM

He's lost many phones
More phones than I have fingers
Who loses a phone?

August 19, 2009 11:05 AM

Start spreading the news
Anyone who doesn't post
Fucking dead to me

August 19, 2009 11:10 AM

Haha! Johnny's tale
Trevor is my new hero
I choked on that one

August 19, 2009 11:24 AM

don't act so surprised
johnny wins each game he plays
by subtle cheating

August 19, 2009 12:08 PM

i can't roast thonners
i'm just not meanly funny
get me bruce vilanch!

August 19, 2009 12:54 PM

50P hiding
Not eager to roast Johnny
scared of the fallout?

Landshark forgot us
guess he's been far too busy
sending candygrams

Brain and Desroc too
both are missing in action
send a search party

August 19, 2009 2:38 PM

AC's just too nice
holding back on the insults
will Mr. AC?

August 19, 2009 2:40 PM

This comment has been removed by the author.

August 19, 2009 2:43 PM

I just realized
Jordan has never Haikued
wit that's sadly missed

August 19, 2009 2:44 PM

Deleted comment
Wonder what it said, for sure
about JPX

August 19, 2009 2:46 PM

Scrabble doesn't count
It's just 50% skill
Luck of the letters

Chess, now there's a game
None of my friends will play me
Except 50 Page

50 Vs. Stan
I think you're evenly matched
You should have a go

August 19, 2009 3:21 PM

I missed the roast part
Now it’s on motherfuckers
Who wants some beatings?

Stan sucks at Pacman
Risks his life for a cherry
Such a senseless waste

JPX & games –
The real reason he abstains
He’s kinda stupid

August 19, 2009 3:28 PM

Thwart my Scrabble skill
I've never swapped out letters
now that takes some skill

August 19, 2009 3:29 PM

Jordan never posts
I suspect he reads these though
And wears women's clothes

August 19, 2009 3:31 PM

Octopunk my friend
You have too many Legos
Do you need all those?

August 19, 2009 3:35 PM

The roast is SIZZLIN!
Cat's got claws, Sweatpants just bawls
While Stan is awesome

(I LOVE Trevor's first one, btw. And his last one. So MUCH good material here...)

August 19, 2009 3:55 PM

since stan backed idea
i will try to grow a pair
and dish out some roast

johnny's a bastard
got me to join facebook, then
whipped me at word twist

miko's a bastard
joined our clan, made us love him,
divorced our asses

jordan's a bastard
a writer who won't haiku;
use an alias!

August 19, 2009 3:58 PM

Handsome Stan go left!
Leave the damn cherry alone!
Sigh, he never learns

August 19, 2009 3:58 PM

Then there's the Gretch Thing
Pants a little TOO obsessed
Almost disturbing

August 19, 2009 3:58 PM

MUST get cherry first
Very symbolic fruit choice
Those perverted Japs

August 19, 2009 4:00 PM

Only a hundred?
Cherry should be a million
With a few high-fives

August 19, 2009 4:01 PM

Have your pretzel, Pants
And your banana as well
Pretty gay choices

August 19, 2009 4:02 PM

Nice dishing AC!
Stan won't suggest your letters
Stand for "All Cop-out"

August 19, 2009 4:04 PM

don't make me roast rick
he's a chef, remember? and
you don't piss off chefs

August 19, 2009 4:07 PM

whew! saved by the bell.
stan had "All Cop-out" haiku
would have made me cry

August 19, 2009 4:09 PM

Then there's Dana's Brain
Was there an aneurism?
Facebook and blog - poof!

August 19, 2009 4:35 PM

Miko has his guns
I hear he's a lousy shot
Couldn't hit a church

August 19, 2009 4:37 PM

Too bad this contest
Is not about the spelling
* cough * "Aneurysm"

August 19, 2009 4:37 PM

AC's agnostic
I think that's quite peculiar
She should know better

August 19, 2009 4:39 PM

Pants, stop deflecting
Let's get back to how you suck
Suck at everything

August 19, 2009 4:50 PM

Friggin' 50 Page
All of my girl friends love him
Glad he's in L.A.

August 19, 2009 5:23 PM

paltry 800
that's my facebook chess rating
all because of pants

jpx whirly
nice folk, and they rescued me
from jealous lover

(they might not even know this themselves)

August 19, 2009 5:23 PM

Oh really, Handsome?
Last time we played racquetball
You were sucking wall

August 19, 2009 5:27 PM

This isn't about ME
I'm busy sucking...down beers
At that I'm AWESOME

August 19, 2009 5:33 PM

Live in Walnut Creek?
Why bother moving westward
To lame-ass Lametown?

August 19, 2009 5:40 PM

Kiss is for losers
Oh yeah, your Kiss blog -- sorry!
That you're a loser

August 19, 2009 5:42 PM

how can you know there's
no god? did god tell you so?
or maybe.... SATAN?

August 19, 2009 5:44 PM

JPX showed me
JSP's Chess Life cover
Posing uber-nerds

August 19, 2009 5:45 PM

jjjy yfb57jnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnbh4rf44ytd0257 bb FX DF DCC

(that one's from Zack)

August 19, 2009 5:47 PM

handsome's a bastard
he won't watch horror movies!!!
kick him off the blog.

landshark's a bastard
teaches cool classes too far
away to audit

octo's a bastard
always swoops in at midnight
kicking haiku ass

August 19, 2009 5:48 PM

i can't slam my girls
julie, cat, whirly, dana
unless they slam first

August 19, 2009 5:56 PM

hey, didn't i once
beat jsp at billiards-
the one time we played?

August 19, 2009 5:58 PM

and i'm old, and a
girl, and agnostic, and i
still beat him at pool

August 19, 2009 5:59 PM

i can't bash 50
he lets me win at scrabble
and steals johnny's girls

August 19, 2009 6:11 PM

Walnut Creek is lame
But it's always sunny here
Not so in Berkeley

August 19, 2009 6:15 PM

where is jpx?
thought he'd have some epic 'ku
too scared of backlash?

August 19, 2009 6:18 PM

won't bash jpx
been through much shit together
vet'rans of same war

won't bash jpx
if it wasn't for him, i
wouldn't know you guys

August 19, 2009 6:24 PM

Too many haikus.
You all kind of suck, really.
I mean, get a life.

August 19, 2009 6:44 PM

Zack can't type for shit.
Is it mean to roast babies?
'Cause you know, yummy!

August 19, 2009 6:46 PM

Oh Stan's so awesome
we know because he tells us
every chance he gets

August 19, 2009 6:57 PM

Julie is twisted
so I'll forgive her for now
if she shares baby

August 19, 2009 7:03 PM

Zack - hear you loud, clear
Pants is TOTALLY jjjjjy
Couldn't agree more

Juiie, I'm crying
Tears of laughter. "Baby roast."
And that Cat wants some.

August 19, 2009 7:21 PM

AC beat Johnny
Stan did too - with 5 sep'rate
No-look 8-ball shots

JPX busy
Talking to crazy people
End of day? Whirly.

(oh no he DIN'T...)

August 19, 2009 7:26 PM

Fireball Island's MINE
My win rate is 100
JSP burned, died

August 19, 2009 7:38 PM

JSP wakes up
And farts like a symphony
You HAVE to love that

Star Wars Trivia
JSP can't hold candle
To my lightsaber

August 19, 2009 7:51 PM

Just watched Bret "Hitman"
Lose to Jumpin' Jim Brunzell
Where's your hero now???

MSG Classics
One of a a very few things
Good about New York

August 19, 2009 8:16 PM

Don't dis New York, Stan
On three sides of Hoboken
Is Jersey City

August 19, 2009 8:19 PM

Touche, Octopunk
Don't like where I am at all
It smells like garbage

August 19, 2009 9:18 PM