We live life forward Only understood backward Death has the answers
September 30, 2009 10:51 PM
Forgive me for the half assedness of today's topic but it was after all a surprise victory. I figured I should go with something morbid to kick off Horrorthon 2009. How would you prefer to die? What would be the absolute worst way to die? Death, blood, carnage, suffering, torture, etc!
"Haiku Hump Day = WAYS TO DIE"
44 Comments -
MI during sex
works well for the decedent
not the survivor(s)
September 30, 2009 10:39 AM
Heroin, nitrous,
Skydive with no parachute
While getting blow job
September 30, 2009 10:49 AM
How the hell do you top that!!
September 30, 2009 10:55 AM
Dying in my sleep
Is the only way to go
No stress and no mess
If I died at home
How long before people knew?
I figure two weeks
My greatest death fear?
I don't want to poop myself
Wait, what do I care?
September 30, 2009 10:58 AM
can't top stan's haiku but can potentially enhance it:
...into grand canyon
with oral sex pro wearing
leia slave costume
September 30, 2009 11:01 AM
Die with dignity
You don't want to poop yourself
So embarrassing
If I knew I'd die
I would poop the day before
Then I'd die in peace
September 30, 2009 11:07 AM
Sheet of acid, tunes
and a field of butterflies
may I never wake
Worst death just might be
getting buried alive, yikes!
Unless you're Uma
September 30, 2009 11:10 AM
JPX death fear
to die like Elvis Presley
while taking a poop
September 30, 2009 11:14 AM
Falling, drown, fire
All terrible ways to die
Bad things to survive
September 30, 2009 11:16 AM
Being burned alive
While alligator eats you
Probably not fun
Going for spacewalk
Whoops! Lost hold of the tether
Stupid Newton's Laws
When push comes to shove
There's only one way to go
Death By Orgasm
September 30, 2009 11:20 AM
Get eaten alive
a pack of hungry zombies
and no one films it
September 30, 2009 11:20 AM
Nuclear explosion
Not bad if you're Ground Zero
whiteHOT oh I'm dead
September 30, 2009 11:46 AM
Clay Aiken’s singing
While red ants eat you alive
In Oklahoma
September 30, 2009 11:55 AM
What about that guy
Who died being sodomized
By a horny horse
September 30, 2009 11:57 AM
Fall into outhouse
You refuse to consume shit
So you starve to death
September 30, 2009 12:05 PM
Death by a Yankee
Jeter punches you to death
With World Series ring
September 30, 2009 12:19 PM
it would really suck
to be killed by a patient
happens all the time
also wouldn't like
demon spawn chewing their way
out of my torn womb
September 30, 2009 12:38 PM
In the hospital
Old Dr Kevorkian
hits you in error
Great stuff, Make a Wish
Get what you always wanted
but must die for it
Honor or disgrace
to be Darwin Award death
worthy of our laughs
September 30, 2009 1:06 PM
One question, so if
Make a Wish patients don't die
do they have to pay?
Skinned alive then put
in a vat of salt water
then some alcohol
Like in that Thai flick
boiling water poured down throat
and over body
September 30, 2009 1:13 PM
It wouldn't be bad
Although it sounds pretty bad
To be beheaded
How long would you live?
Probably just a second
One sucky second
September 30, 2009 1:56 PM
Beheading would suck
if your head had turned around
and you saw the stump
Torture would be hell
when you know there is no hope
for release after
"I Spit on Your Grave"
Castrated, bled out in tub
feels so good it hurts
September 30, 2009 2:10 PM
Old age ups and downs
Nice to see your kids grow up
death will involve poop
Slipping in the tub
you'd be found wet and naked
worse if it's with poop
Choking to death sucks
alone and can't self-heimlich
humiliating
September 30, 2009 2:28 PM
If I had to go
I would leap from tall building
Explode halfway down
September 30, 2009 3:06 PM
Comment on review
Of Godzilla 2000
Or I will kill you
September 30, 2009 3:08 PM
Whew, I commented
I guess that means that I'll live
and you all will die
September 30, 2009 3:13 PM
That's right! I'm patient
Cat returns with the pizza
Hi, pile of corpses!
September 30, 2009 3:16 PM
couldn't fight him off
too many fond memories
zombie octopunk
September 30, 2009 3:36 PM
zombie JSP
death at his hands not from bite
played KISS till i died
September 30, 2009 3:38 PM
zombie freeeek attack?
like pants, no bites -- smothering
Thon review landslide
September 30, 2009 3:41 PM
handsome stan's attack
he'll say, "let's totally hang!"
die of old age first
September 30, 2009 3:42 PM
no zombie jordan
if bitten, he'd off himself
how considerate!
September 30, 2009 3:45 PM
Sarlacc? Not so bad
Millenial Digestion
But you're dead in days
September 30, 2009 4:01 PM
oh - i looked it up
alive throughout digestion
oh my god, that sucks
September 30, 2009 4:07 PM
Terminal illness
The knowledge that one will die
I would kill myself
Slowly bleeding out
And being aware of it
Is an awful death
I'll sleep when I'm dead
No, I'm going to sleep right now
I stayed up too late
Don't care if I die
I just don't want it to hurt
And I hope its quick
September 30, 2009 4:21 PM
heard a (true) story
guy cut off his own damn head
with a straight razor
minor league catcher
took an axe to wife and kids
then did himself in
can you imagine?
what a mess that must've been
think i'm kidding? Link!
September 30, 2009 4:23 PM
Darwin deaths are fun
man died from a 3 liter
sherry enema
September 30, 2009 5:19 PM
A bad way to die:
Slowly cooked to death in an
Easy bake oven
Another bad death:
Being eaten alive by
A toothless geezer
Being strangled by
One's own unravelled testes
Would certainly suck
Bloody mound of pulp
An infomercial gone bad
Murder by Ped Egg
September 30, 2009 6:43 PM
a bad death - shark bite
totally sucks at the time
a good story though.
but whom do you tell?
"Lord, check this awesome shark bite!"
"I saw, my son. Rad."
September 30, 2009 7:58 PM
Small sword: plunge in gut
Yank upward. Then left to right.
Samurais have BALLS
September 30, 2009 8:43 PM
Most comedic death
Invisible Swordsman shot
I'm sure he was shocked
September 30, 2009 9:05 PM
Dying by laughter
Probably hurts like a bitch
But it's so FUNNY
September 30, 2009 9:06 PM
Suck the balloon down
With a thousand feet to go
Gold bikini scraps
September 30, 2009 9:53 PM
Cherry blossoms fall
Life but a fleeting moment
Oh fuck! Sword in gut!
September 30, 2009 10:02 PM
We live life forward
Only understood backward
Death has the answers
September 30, 2009 10:51 PM