Wow, perhaps AC can help you with this memory (since JPX is family).
One wonders what impact, on the decisions of your adult-life, this trauma had. When will parents realize the effect their abuse has on the children of the world.
BTW: This won't be a problem for Amelia, there are no concerts at the nunnery.
Thank you for your recognizing the magnitude and gravity of the incident Miko. I am only now able to begin assessing the repurcussions.
But a nunnery is probably the last place you should send your daughter if you actually want her to live a trauma-free life...
Anyone else download the the new Dandy Warhols remixes? Pretty sweet!
I can think of at least 2 traumatic concert experience JPX has been through! (Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about - the Motley Crue lighter massacre and the Cure show we agreed never to discuss again. (Whoops)).
Ok, here's the deal with the Crue show. (For those who have heard this already, surely you'll still find it funny!
So JPX was at a Crue show in Providence, the Theatre of Pain Tour if I'm not mistaken.
Anyway some dirtbag asked him for a lighter. JPX happened to have one not because he smoked (heaven forbid) but because he didn't want to be empty-handed during power ballad Home Sweet Home. I'm not sure where or when the display-flames-during-slow-song tradition began but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that JPX had the flame set up high and the ended up burning his bangs off while lighting his cigarette. Not at all pleased with his singed hair, the hooligan responded the only way he knew how - by literally tearing JPX's very shirt off his body! Long story short, JPX had to buy a Crue shirt at the merch booth and find new seats to boot.
The lighter wasn't just set on high, the metal regulator thingy had been pulled off for extra big flames. Ånd you left out the best part, that when the guy got on JPX's case, he actually said "my hair is my life!"
Perhaps I should attend the Warhols show in September. If I am good for anything it is getting "dirtbags" to rethink their actions prior to doing something stupid...
Although...I know we aren't supposed to blame the victim...but I kind of feel the same way I did when I saw the movie about the Grizzly guy that got 'et. I'm sorry you got mauled, but you do realize you were in grizzly/crue territory?
conference day one over, and my well-deserved reward: laughing my ass off getting caught up on the blog, like our dcd yesterday.
miko, i can't help johnny with his traumatic concert-loss, as my ethical boundaries do not include therapizing friends and blogmates. please do come to the warhols show but only if you like their music. dirtbag intimidation isn't usually required at their shows (johnny correct me if i'm wrong).
johnny, i am dying laughing over your recount of jpx's crue story. when we have our all-coast horrorthon reunion, i need to see this reenactment live.
my traumatic concert stories mostly involve missing concerts for a variety of reasons, but i had one memorably terrible time at a dead show in which i was just coming down with the flu but people were thinking i was having a bad trip. of course that was also the night someone spilled a beer on me. i did get one random, compassionate stranger hug out of the deal, so it wasn't all bad, but it was mostly very bad.
johnny or jpx, please tell us the infamous cure story!
Why have I never heard this story? I'm dying. JSP, please tell more. It's always like pulling teeth to get JPX to ever tell me any. I've told him countless, and sometimes unflattering tales, and when I ask him to reciprocate he always says he has none to tell. Clearly he’s not being truthful.
Just to clarify a few details about the Motley Crue concert, I was with 6 friends and when the dirtbag in back of me asked for my lighter I gave it to him (knowing) hoping that he was going to be in for a big surprise. In fact, one second before he lit it I giggled (which he heard) and, whoooosh! As described, his hair briefly burned. He was so pissed that he reached the collar of my tee-shirt and ripped the shirt right off my body. My friends jumped in and saved me. Fortunately I had other friends in the arena (with worse seats) and one of them traded tickets with me. I was seated directly across the arena and I could see the guy looking for me for THE ENTIRE CONCERT! Luckily I was far away from the bastard. It's true, I had to purchase a costly (but awesome) Theater of Pain tee-shirt (see it here,
1) Sorry about ignoring Enuff Z'nuff, JSP. I would have ignored Poison or Ratt as well, if that makes you feel any better.
2) What the hell does appropriate have to do with your stories Whirly? Dish girl! (I would have said "girlfriend", but with my admitting to liking Project Runway, I believe I have already brought my sexual orientation into enough question for a while.)
Thanks for pointing out the Vegas gig AC! However, I've made it this far in life without ever going to *shudder* Las Vegas and it would take more than Enuff Z'nuff to get on that plane.
If Bea Arthur was headlining then perhaps...
2) Yeah Whirlygirl - what Miko said! What are you hwhoo-kchheyew? (That's a phonetic spelling of a whip being cracked.)
All right, you guys want to hear a story. For the time being I’m not going to tell any stories about myself, but I promise what I do tell you will be entertaining, and they are the foundations for many of my stories and plays. Soon to come I’ll tell you about my grandmother’s side of the family, a very strange group of people plagued with deformities, handicaps, and drug addiction. They’re a combination of circus freaks and mental patients. Several have nicknames, for example, Shotgun, the Boulevard, the Ant Lady, and Tranny. If I can find it I’ll post a picture of Shotgun. I’m not lying when I tell you she is quite a sight. JPX knows what I’m talking about.
If you like those stories then I’ll tell you about the occupants of the nursing home/insane asylum I grew up next door to. They were a great, absolutely off their rockers group of people and I missed them when they converted the house back into a single family residence.
What, you’re not familiar with Enuff Z’nuff’s distinguished 25 year/11 studio album career? Well don’t worry because you’re not alone. In fact now that I think about it I’m actually the only Enuff Z’nuff fan I’ve ever met in my entire life. Go figure.
Formed in 1984 by brothers Chip Z’nuff (bass) and Donnie Vie (vocals) in Blue Island, IL, Enuff Z’nuff rode the glam metal wave back in the days of a happy world of excess ruled by Poison. Like Poison, these fellas enjoyed bright colors, girls, rocking out and err.. boatloads of lipstick and hairspray. What set them apart from the Nelsons, Wingers and Trixters of the world were two things. First was Donnie Vie’s magically unique rasp. Second was their ability to cleverly repackage the Beatles to unsuspecting dumb metalheads. Check out either the New Thing or Fly High Michelle videos on YouTube to see them in all their candy coated psychedelic glory.
Sure, they may not be best lyricists in the metal world. They have been known to assault the English language for the sake of rhyming such as “It’s too late to save us, fate has gave us sins that crave us” in the pessimistic The World is a Gutter. And in Mother’s Eyes they offered this piece of nonsensical advice for sake of mankind’s future: “Nothing can change ‘till we arrange all of life’s important fingers on one hand”.
Nevertheless my Enuff Z’nuff soft spot never quite evaporated. Over the years I’ve (discretely) purchased their albums and every one has at least a song or two that I (discretely) love. I’m not sure if I wanted to be Enuff Z’nuff but I sure as hell wanted to see them live. And I would have too, if it wasn’t for my damn meddling father who forced me to relinquish my tickets to the Living Room that very painful eve in the summer of ‘91. During the Strength tour no less! Instead I was taken to a family function that I cannot nor ever want to recall. “There will always be other concerts,” said my father in his soothing, down-to-earth, wistful voice that I do such a spot-on imitation of. (JPX does a good one too.) Unfortunately there weren’t any more Enuff Z’nuff concerts. They have toured since over the years (in various incarnations) but I’ve still never managed to catch them.
The end?
posted by Johnny Sweatpants at 12:06 PM on Aug 1, 2008
"MUSIC FRIDAY: The Concert That Got Away by Johnny Sweatpants: Enuff Z'nuff at the Living Room in Providence 1991"
22 Comments -
Wow, perhaps AC can help you with this memory (since JPX is family).
One wonders what impact, on the decisions of your adult-life, this trauma had. When will parents realize the effect their abuse has on the children of the world.
BTW: This won't be a problem for Amelia, there are no concerts at the nunnery.
August 01, 2008 12:44 PM
Thank you for your recognizing the magnitude and gravity of the incident Miko. I am only now able to begin assessing the repurcussions.
But a nunnery is probably the last place you should send your daughter if you actually want her to live a trauma-free life...
Anyone else download the the new Dandy Warhols remixes? Pretty sweet!
I can think of at least 2 traumatic concert experience JPX has been through! (Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about - the Motley Crue lighter massacre and the Cure show we agreed never to discuss again. (Whoops)).
August 01, 2008 1:01 PM
I don't give a shit if she has trauma or not, just so long as there are no males....(is that wrong?)
If you think that you can mention the two incidents and not describe them, you haven't been on the blog before. Spill the beans boys.
August 01, 2008 1:21 PM
Ok, here's the deal with the Crue show. (For those who have heard this already, surely you'll still find it funny!
So JPX was at a Crue show in Providence, the Theatre of Pain Tour if I'm not mistaken.
Anyway some dirtbag asked him for a lighter. JPX happened to have one not because he smoked (heaven forbid) but because he didn't want to be empty-handed during power ballad Home Sweet Home. I'm not sure where or when the display-flames-during-slow-song tradition began but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that JPX had the flame set up high and the ended up burning his bangs off while lighting his cigarette. Not at all pleased with his singed hair, the hooligan responded the only way he knew how - by literally tearing JPX's very shirt off his body! Long story short, JPX had to buy a Crue shirt at the merch booth and find new seats to boot.
August 01, 2008 2:05 PM
The lighter wasn't just set on high, the metal regulator thingy had been pulled off for extra big flames. Ånd you left out the best part, that when the guy got on JPX's case, he actually said "my hair is my life!"
I wasn't there, but that detail stuck with me.
August 01, 2008 2:39 PM
And what a spectacular detail it is! HA! Anyone care to re-enact the encounter with me at some point? I want to play JPX!
August 01, 2008 3:21 PM
Dirtbag: Hey man, gotta light?
JPX: Certainly my good man.
Dirtbag: (lights hair on fire) What the fuck?!?!?
JPX: You see, I removed the metal regulator thingy to increase the flame size!
Dirtbag: You IDIOT! My hair is my life!!!! (Rips JPX's shirt off, JPX runs off screaming.)
Cut to: Merch booth
JPX: I'll have the red one in a medium please.
CURTAIN
August 01, 2008 3:30 PM
Perhaps I should attend the Warhols show in September. If I am good for anything it is getting "dirtbags" to rethink their actions prior to doing something stupid...
Although...I know we aren't supposed to blame the victim...but I kind of feel the same way I did when I saw the movie about the Grizzly guy that got 'et. I'm sorry you got mauled, but you do realize you were in grizzly/crue territory?
August 01, 2008 4:07 PM
conference day one over, and my well-deserved reward: laughing my ass off getting caught up on the blog, like our dcd yesterday.
miko, i can't help johnny with his traumatic concert-loss, as my ethical boundaries do not include therapizing friends and blogmates. please do come to the warhols show but only if you like their music. dirtbag intimidation isn't usually required at their shows (johnny correct me if i'm wrong).
johnny, i am dying laughing over your recount of jpx's crue story. when we have our all-coast horrorthon reunion, i need to see this reenactment live.
my traumatic concert stories mostly involve missing concerts for a variety of reasons, but i had one memorably terrible time at a dead show in which i was just coming down with the flu but people were thinking i was having a bad trip. of course that was also the night someone spilled a beer on me. i did get one random, compassionate stranger hug out of the deal, so it wasn't all bad, but it was mostly very bad.
johnny or jpx, please tell us the infamous cure story!
August 01, 2008 4:39 PM
OMG - the re-enactment really did it for me. HIL-arious!!
Yes, do please tell us more!
August 01, 2008 4:48 PM
Why have I never heard this story? I'm dying. JSP, please tell more. It's always like pulling teeth to get JPX to ever tell me any. I've told him countless, and sometimes unflattering tales, and when I ask him to reciprocate he always says he has none to tell. Clearly he’s not being truthful.
August 01, 2008 7:40 PM
Just to clarify a few details about the Motley Crue concert, I was with 6 friends and when the dirtbag in back of me asked for my lighter I gave it to him (knowing) hoping that he was going to be in for a big surprise. In fact, one second before he lit it I giggled (which he heard) and, whoooosh! As described, his hair briefly burned. He was so pissed that he reached the collar of my tee-shirt and ripped the shirt right off my body. My friends jumped in and saved me. Fortunately I had other friends in the arena (with worse seats) and one of them traded tickets with me. I was seated directly across the arena and I could see the guy looking for me for THE ENTIRE CONCERT! Luckily I was far away from the bastard. It's true, I had to purchase a costly (but awesome) Theater of Pain tee-shirt (see it here,
http://www.coreyelectronics.com/Cds/images/Theatre%20Of%20Pain.jpg
Good times.
August 01, 2008 8:36 PM
God bless friends!
Now tell us some of the unflattering Whirly stories!
August 01, 2008 8:58 PM
Whirly has stories that would blow your mind, but I'll leave it to her to tell them...
August 01, 2008 9:25 PM
Maybe sometime I'll post a story. I'll have to pow-wow with JPX and see which one he thinks will be good and appropriate for the blog.
August 02, 2008 7:35 AM
I've noticed that no one has anything to say about Enuff Z'nuff. *sigh* And that pretty much sums up their career...
August 02, 2008 6:57 PM
2 things:
1) Sorry about ignoring Enuff Z'nuff, JSP. I would have ignored Poison or Ratt as well, if that makes you feel any better.
2) What the hell does appropriate have to do with your stories Whirly? Dish girl! (I would have said "girlfriend", but with my admitting to liking Project Runway, I believe I have already brought my sexual orientation into enough question for a while.)
August 02, 2008 7:56 PM
johnny, enuff z'nuff are playing vegas in a couple of weeks. i vote you go, and heal that trauma. more importantly, you can post about it on the blog.
August 02, 2008 8:24 PM
Thanks for pointing out the Vegas gig AC! However, I've made it this far in life without ever going to *shudder* Las Vegas and it would take more than Enuff Z'nuff to get on that plane.
If Bea Arthur was headlining then perhaps...
2) Yeah Whirlygirl - what Miko said! What are you hwhoo-kchheyew? (That's a phonetic spelling of a whip being cracked.)
August 02, 2008 9:11 PM
hmm, i was kind of thinking vegas would be the perfect venue for those guys.
August 02, 2008 9:18 PM
All right, you guys want to hear a story. For the time being I’m not going to tell any stories about myself, but I promise what I do tell you will be entertaining, and they are the foundations for many of my stories and plays. Soon to come I’ll tell you about my grandmother’s side of the family, a very strange group of people plagued with deformities, handicaps, and drug addiction. They’re a combination of circus freaks and mental patients. Several have nicknames, for example, Shotgun, the Boulevard, the Ant Lady, and Tranny. If I can find it I’ll post a picture of Shotgun. I’m not lying when I tell you she is quite a sight. JPX knows what I’m talking about.
If you like those stories then I’ll tell you about the occupants of the nursing home/insane asylum I grew up next door to. They were a great, absolutely off their rockers group of people and I missed them when they converted the house back into a single family residence.
August 02, 2008 10:23 PM
Whirly, we may be cousins...do tell.
August 02, 2008 10:34 PM