Wow! Thanks AC I thought for sure the win would go to Octo for the guy puking then making out with the chick...eeew!
JSP & I believe Stan were with me & Space at the show where he was punching people in the face.
The Michael Jackson segment of the show was in result of MJ's first molestation drama. A even more freakish looking MJ masturbated over an alien baby spewing yellow stuff all over the audience then was castrated spewing red stuff all over us again. See a modified version where he gets his face ripped off here.
On a side note, my friends Darlene, Cristine & I actually got to hang out with GWAR after one of their shows. They're actually pretty laid back once the make up comes off.
Nice win Catfreeek! I wondered if the GWAR saga would take it as soon as I read it, and I loved how perfectly it set the tone for this topic: balls out enthusiasm. And you've been due for a win.
My personal fave was Johnny's "we save people and then go off to rock" entry, which I'm misquoting because I'm too lazy to find it. In that moment I actually perceived something heroically cool about the two of you. But then it wore off.
About Mr. Spark... to this day I don't know what that weirdo was talking about. That band was like something from a just-slightly parallel universe, in which everything was a little lamer and stupider than here but just...off enough to be slightly interesting.
Great topic, AC. Nice work, people.
Oh, except a big rasberry to JPX for all those "AC's my hero" lines. Way to suck up!
OK, I have to bite the bullet and get this done. Thanks again for all the great haikus. The contenders:
Catfreeek’s GWAR! saga got me right out of the gate: My boyfriend named Space punching moshers in the face as they closed in, GWAR!
Bleeding, wretched vile Covered head to toe in slime good times were had, GWAR!
Ears ringing, head spins Michael Jackson castrated blood shot to face, GWAR!
And on a contrasting note, the Ani DiFranco line “sea of hairy pits” was one of the funniest in a very funny day.
JPX is a contender for his famous but always worth hearing lighter saga (I’m a sucker for a saga): Motley Crue concert Some thug borrowed my lighter He got a surprise
I made adjustments So it was a flamethrower He got a surprise
I should have warned him His greasy hair didn't help He got a surprise
Hair caught on fire I shouldn't have laughed at him I got a surprise
He tore my shirt off And then he tried to kill me Yep, I ran away
Had to buy a shirt $20 for a shirt It looked pretty cool
Took that shirt to school I looked cool in track practice I wore it often
Thug had the last laugh I went to put on my shirt One fall afternooon
Opened my locker Someone had stolen my shirt! I miss that damn shirt
I loved Stan’s Beta Band mini-review, which conveys the essence of the experience whilst simultaneously dissing JSP’s ex: Beta Band Boston Show closed with a drum solo Show's in the Top 3 Even Sweatpants' wife Couldn't bring down the evening Plus we had great drugs
And a stellar contribution to the “bad shows” category: Worst Phish show ever Prince Caspian DID NOT END Hate that fucking song
And what’s not to love about: The Dead in Tampa Giant turtle on the stage Turned into rabbit *
(* = animals not actually present)
Whirlygirl was definitely holding back stories, but still gets credit for her (presumably ironic) entries into the “I win best concert” competition: I saw Bobby Brown Did any of you see him? I think not, I win
How about New Kids Did any of you see them? I think not, I win
Johnny had a lot of great stuff, but my favorite was his riff on Stan’s Phish haiku: Live along the sea! OOOOOOOOHHHH to be Prince CASPIAN! *Shoots self in the face*
I loved Fitty’s Sabbath reunion saga (again with the sagas), especially his transliteration of Pantera lyrics: Sabbath reunion Opening acts: Pantera System of a Down
SOD opened Frontman: screeching lunatic Good thing we were late
Then came Pantera Super fast, super heavy Beat me to a pulp
Then came the darkness Sound like heavy black hammers Sabbath's still got it
After, in a daze Friend said, "You just got rocked, son" No feeling like it
And finally, despite his self deprecating comment, Octopunk was an extremely strong contender with two entries, the hilariously disgusting and completely pure KISS with JPX Guy two rows up pukes long time Then makes out with chick
And the hilarious and puzzling Here's a real quote: "Some- times a spark goes up your ass And it feels reaaaaal good."
So as an extremely reluctant judge, I have to call Octopunk first runner-up for “KISS with JPX” as it tells the whole story in three perfect lines, but I am giving the win to Catfreeek for her GWAR! saga, because it is so evocative and because I can’t stop laughing even now when I read it for the tenth time. I think it’s the exclamation point that kills me. Also I need to hear more about the Michael Jackson line… or do I?
Thanks again everybody! Congratulations Catfreeek!!!
"HHD results"
8 Comments -
Wow! Thanks AC I thought for sure the win would go to Octo for the guy puking then making out with the chick...eeew!
JSP & I believe Stan were with me & Space at the show where he was punching people in the face.
The Michael Jackson segment of the show was in result of MJ's first molestation drama. A even more freakish looking MJ masturbated over an alien baby spewing yellow stuff all over the audience then was castrated spewing red stuff all over us again. See a modified version where he gets his face ripped off here.
June 05, 2010 8:17 AM
On a side note, my friends Darlene, Cristine & I actually got to hang out with GWAR after one of their shows. They're actually pretty laid back once the make up comes off.
June 05, 2010 8:19 AM
Congrats Freeek! Sorry I missed this one, hilarious entries!
June 05, 2010 9:03 AM
Nice win Catfreeek! I wondered if the GWAR saga would take it as soon as I read it, and I loved how perfectly it set the tone for this topic: balls out enthusiasm. And you've been due for a win.
My personal fave was Johnny's "we save people and then go off to rock" entry, which I'm misquoting because I'm too lazy to find it. In that moment I actually perceived something heroically cool about the two of you. But then it wore off.
June 05, 2010 10:25 AM
About Mr. Spark... to this day I don't know what that weirdo was talking about. That band was like something from a just-slightly parallel universe, in which everything was a little lamer and stupider than here but just...off enough to be slightly interesting.
Great topic, AC. Nice work, people.
Oh, except a big rasberry to JPX for all those "AC's my hero" lines. Way to suck up!
June 05, 2010 10:28 AM
nice going, CF.
although i have to point out, you jumped the gun on your "i think not, i win" -- i've been to page/plant too.
total crime that jpj didn't get invited along, considering he wrote most of the music everyone was playing.
June 06, 2010 10:51 AM
I agree, but still it was a hell of a good show.
June 06, 2010 4:51 PM
Congrats, Catfreeek!
June 07, 2010 9:38 AM