[Image] My friend Kaveh, a doctor, once asked rhetorically, "Why is it that when people hear voices in their heads, the voices are always telling them to do really bad things, like kill people? Why can't schizophrenics hear voices that tell them, 'You should go plant some flowers in a quiet corner in the park,' or 'You should go pick up garbage and deposit it in the proper bins,' or something productive or creative?"
The complexity of the mind is unfathomable. In the twisting labyrinth of neural fiber lies ample room for variation. This is what makes it possible for each of us to set our own unique identity. But unfortunately for many people, nestled in this infinite variation are the seeds for self-destructive behavior. All of us have been touched, in some way, by mental illness -- some of us even have degrees in it -- treating it, not suffering from it. --- well, there was this guy...
[Image] Mental illness comes in many different forms; some destructive to ourselves or others, and some which can be harnessed and channelled, propelling us towards fabulous accomplishments.
[Image]Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
[Image]Schizophrenia
[Image]Manic Depression
[Image]Anxiety
[Image]Narcissism
[Image]Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
[Image]Eating Disorders
[Image]Depression
[Image]Addiction
This week, we ply our rational haiku minds to the topic of mental illness in its myriad forms. And as we do so, remember, but for an infinitesimal twist in the wiring, any of us could have suffered from these disorders (and some of us, to varying degrees, actually have). On the other hand, but for an infinitesimal twist in the wiring, any of us could have written the world's finest novel or solved the energy crisis, or done many other more notable things than churn out haiku on a Wednesday.
"Haiku Hump Day - Mental Illness"
52 Comments -
Hands nice and clean now
Hot water scrubbed with vigor
Once more to be safe
Followed everywhere
Blank eyes under hats pulled low
Soon they'll get me bad
Rough day on the job
I'll have a drink and then more
Till I can't recall
I hear a loud bang
I can smell the blood once more
Only a popped tire
July 29, 2009 4:46 AM
I thought she was cute
Trichotillomania
It turns out she’s bald
When the time changes
Everybody gets depressed
It’s great for business
Sure Prozac works well
But there are some side-effects
Your penis won’t work
July 29, 2009 5:39 AM
Am I the winner
If I die with the most toys?
Compulsive hoarding
Thought I was dying
“It’s just a panic attack”
Yeah but it still sucks
Indiana Jones
Ophidiophobia
I agree with him
She’s very moody
Goes from zero to bitchy
She’s a borderline
July 29, 2009 6:38 AM
We don't stand a chance
JPX/AC will win
for pure field knowledge
I might have an edge
my first hand experience
as a real nutcase
Years of horror films
surely effect one's sane mind
did I just say sane
This is just so strange
am I talking to myself?
Damn! Ranting again.
July 29, 2009 6:59 AM
About this topic
Oh look it's something shiny!
What was I saying?
8 month killing spree
caught and questioned, the excuse
Devil told me to
July 29, 2009 7:16 AM
Staring four gray walls
Walking invisible dog
let's count the raindrops
Always on the news
Neighbors say he's a nice guy
he just killed 12 kids
Nobody loves me
Think I'll have a shooting spree
Why don't they like me
Choose your affliction
7 personalities
DID's for me
July 29, 2009 7:46 AM
I've been called crazy
No I'm not collecting cats
five's not too many
July 29, 2009 7:57 AM
Eating disorders
All can be fixed with one book
Read Michael Pollan
Addicted, who me?
Pacman, chess and KISS products
Oh, and alcohol
All I'm sayin' is
Only a true narcissist
Deems himself "handsome"
I like crazy folks
They make weirdos seem normal
I'm just eccentric
Bi-polars are fun
Don't know what you're gonna get
Like box of chocolate
July 29, 2009 8:58 AM
They say that most shrinks
Are 14 kinds of crazy
*polite cough* AC
July 29, 2009 9:01 AM
A shrink's dilemma
Telling a paranoid guy
That he smells funny
Social phobics fear
That people will not like them
They're usually right
Patients say strange things
You need a good poker face
Laughing is not good
July 29, 2009 10:34 AM
tough topic mcgee
uncomfortably like work
not an advantage
some psychologists
are drawn to certain topics
research is me-search
mental illness and
health form a continuum
who is truly "sane"?
bipolar would suck
to become really stable
you give up the highs
jeff, do you agree:
if one must have an issue
phobias are best
too bad jeff and i
can't share juicy patient tales:
those wacky "ethics"!
i'm fascinated
and repelled by picasso
the art world's lecter
July 29, 2009 10:39 AM
I hate addiction
After a lot of hard work
Recidivism
Best problem to treat?
Phobias 'cause they're easy
Therapist's delight
July 29, 2009 10:41 AM
AC, I posted that phobia comment before reading yours!
July 29, 2009 10:43 AM
Erectile problems
A good shrink will advise you
To date hotter girls
In graduate school
Most of the students were nuts
Yep, I married one
July 29, 2009 10:46 AM
Occasionally
I treat people you might know
I wish I could tell
July 29, 2009 10:49 AM
in graduate school
jeff and i were the most sane
what does that tell you?
July 29, 2009 10:59 AM
Depression? Puh-lease
You just want some attention
I'd make a bad shrink
July 29, 2009 11:23 AM
Single male seeks one
Sex addicted psycho chick
We can make it work
July 29, 2009 11:38 AM
Authenticity
I like my rock stars crazy
Hello Syd Barrett!
July 29, 2009 11:53 AM
The truth to be told
I've known a few therapists
with control issues
Went to one's wedding
She was psycho-therapist
mega control freak
AC, JPX
Most sane people in the field
Horror, good for the mind
July 29, 2009 11:57 AM
Bad combination
A shy person with tourettes
Always embarrassed
A hermaphrodite
with major sex addiction
self satisfying
July 29, 2009 12:10 PM
if you're too happy
listen to "the wall" daily
you will get depressed
freud was cool, but a
cigar is never just a
cigar. it's a dick.
July 29, 2009 12:47 PM
It's been suggested
That the clinically depressed
Understand the world
Those who aren't depressed
Live in a fantasy world
Ignorance is bliss
I can't stand patients
Who can't modulate anger
I fucking hate them!
July 29, 2009 1:33 PM
Ok I give up
JPX is on fire
That last batch destroyed
July 29, 2009 3:21 PM
mr ac sends these along:
Haikuphilia
A recurrent, intense need
to write in Haiku
Freud, Adler, and Jung
Why did they strive for greatness?
To get the ladies
Vader, Luke, Yoda
Id, Ego, Superego
What about Jar-Jar?
July 29, 2009 3:33 PM
schizophrenia
or too many acid trips?
shine, crazy diamond.
July 29, 2009 3:49 PM
wish i knew as much
about music as mcgee
knows about psych stuff!
July 29, 2009 3:57 PM
Strippers might look cute
But looks can be deceiving
They really hate you
Abused as children
They titillate with their looks
They are dead inside
July 29, 2009 4:00 PM
Damn, JPX is on FIYAH!
My Dad's school of thought,
"Sad? Pull yourself up by your
boot straps! Horse's Ass!"
Ask desroc and me,
Craziest people ever?
Restaurant owners!!
July 29, 2009 4:36 PM
Mr Freeek (aka Tony) says...
Suspicious stranger
reflection holding razor
schizophrenia
hglkdn fo
jspdf cjiefk dkdol kgo
it's dyslexia
Short man attitude
a Napoleon complex
small dose of anger
July 29, 2009 4:53 PM
Thorazine works well
It replaced lobotomies
And stopped the headaches
I just realized this
"LOBOT" means lobotomy
Lucas is funny
Shock treatment is used
For terrible depression
Zap away the blues
July 29, 2009 5:49 PM
If I don't like you
I'll say with authority
That you are crazy
July 29, 2009 5:57 PM
I sometimes wonder
does JPX think I'm nuts
for having 5 cats
July 29, 2009 6:10 PM
I sure do catfreeek
There's a word for what you do
Animal hoarding
July 29, 2009 6:24 PM
I watched shock treatment
I thought it would be so cool
Sadly I feinted
July 29, 2009 6:31 PM
Here's where we differ
I say animal rescue
guilted into it
Sad kitty eyes say,
"Won't you please give me a home"
I just can't say no
Unable to no
Is that a condition too?
if so, what's it called?
You guys amaze me
a name for each affliction
who gets to name them?
July 29, 2009 6:46 PM
You're not crazy yet
When you wear tissue boxes
I'll start to worry
July 29, 2009 6:50 PM
New fashion statement
PJ's and tissue box shoes
Thank you JPX
July 29, 2009 7:59 PM
A touch OCD
maybe not too bad? At least
my house would be clean!
July 29, 2009 8:45 PM
Do JPX's
patients know he's haiku-ing
while they blather on?
"MM-Hmm. Yes, go on."
Must beat that damned Handsome Stan!
This week will be mine!
July 29, 2009 8:50 PM
Crazy.Nuts.Loony.
"Few sandwiches short of a
picnic." My fave.
July 29, 2009 8:52 PM
Where the hell is Stan?
Where the hell is Octopunk?
We miss you bastards
July 29, 2009 8:52 PM
Thanks for saying so
Been watching Zack all day long
All tots bipolar
July 29, 2009 9:22 PM
Paging Dr. Freud
Penis, penis everywhere!
Your cigar is gay
July 29, 2009 9:22 PM
These damn Rorschach tests
They all look like dead puppies
Man am I depressed
July 29, 2009 9:27 PM
Word associate!
Cat? Dog. Freak? Out. Big bully?
Now I will kill you
July 29, 2009 9:31 PM
Free associate!
I did. Read my Freud haiku
It's been a long day
July 29, 2009 9:34 PM
I know pancake girl!
She's in The Ring: first victim
Mmmm. Closet pancakes
July 29, 2009 11:51 PM
They said I was mad
But I taught goats to mug me
Guess I am crazy
July 29, 2009 11:55 PM
I'm so OCD
Need exactly fifty 'kus
Just five more words... ahhh
July 29, 2009 11:59 PM
oops. what are you going to do now OCDopunk?
July 30, 2009 1:57 PM
That is frikken' hilarious.
July 31, 2009 2:07 AM