Post a Comment On: Horrorthon

Late for a new class
Only seat in the front row
Trip and land on butt

Need to meet with boss
I walk into his office
Clearly he farted

Waiting for bathroom
Secretary emerges
Left me a present

April 07, 2010 4:30 AM

Sang Karaoke
Kicked ass, the crowd was cheering
then fell off the stage

Jr high horror
math class,period through pants
Social suicide

USA Skate Rink
I got a little too high
started to undress

April 07, 2010 5:41 AM

Hilarious tale
that happened to a close friend
She reads this,I'm dead

She slept with this guy
he was performing oral
she was holding gas

As she orgasmed
she machine gun tooted out
in this poor guy's face

(I'm in tears laughing)
so they never spoke again
I think I'd just die

April 07, 2010 5:55 AM

Break poop seal early
The JPX strategy
A proven winner

Where to begin here?
3am, and I still cringe
Wet pants in 3rd grade

Horrible moments
Replayed vividly in bed
Oh, insomnia

April 07, 2010 5:58 AM

Fourth grade English class
scratching my ear, what's this bump?
A tick! So I screamed!

April 07, 2010 6:00 AM

Late for a new class
Everyone looked over at me
My zipper was down

I once went to work
Saw patients, went to meetings
Wore two different shoes

April 07, 2010 6:09 AM

Presenting research
To a large group of doctors
Did not go very well

I was asked something
About statistics I used
I couldn't answer

After awkward pause
I came up with an answer
I said, "I don't know"

April 07, 2010 8:45 AM

Hampden Meadows swings
Jeff snags chain launching from high
Shreds Epcot t-shirt

April 07, 2010 8:50 AM

Flushed the work toilet
Dang flush lever popped right off
Landed in bowl -- gone

April 07, 2010 9:26 AM

Dressed like homeless man
Approach sales guy in Target
Damn, he's a patient

April 07, 2010 9:27 AM

Boner dilemma
Mortifying school hall walk
Trapper Keeper shield

April 07, 2010 9:27 AM

French Riviera
Surrounded by topless teens
Boner dilemma

April 07, 2010 9:43 AM

Jeff visits our pool
Sports tiny "briefs" bathing suit
And I still tease him

April 07, 2010 10:21 AM

met a young woman
seemed reluctant to shake hands
she had a flipper

as if in slo mo
i go for it anyway
and grasp that flipper

then my friendly mom
ignores the same social cues
and shakes the flipper

April 07, 2010 10:45 AM

It was a hot day
Used bathroom, went to meeting
Walked in all sweaty

That's not the worst part
To my horror I realized
Belt was unbuckled

April 07, 2010 11:02 AM

mid-pee, drop phone in
flush to avoid touching pee
phone clog overflow

hockey game, thrown out
rope gate in way, ducked under
helmet caught, flail, fall

alone in dorm stairs
cut *bad* fart, enter cute girl
stops to chat, bad choice

April 07, 2010 11:33 AM

Crash at 50's house
The night before his birthday
Fall asleep by phone

Parents awake me
Sing whole Happy Birthday song
While I sit dumbstruck

An awkward silence
"Do we sound like Bob Dylan?"
"Do I sound like Marc?"

April 07, 2010 11:43 AM

At basketball camp
"Friend" burns my ass with lighter
Leaves scorch mark on shorts

During discussion
Cut fart in gymnasium
200 boys laugh

Then while we exit
They all point out the scorch mark
They said 'twas the fart

April 07, 2010 12:01 PM

Racquetball soul crush
An elderly man schooled me
In his underwear

April 07, 2010 12:05 PM

Supermarket plight
“I’d like one Archie Digest
Please don’t judge me, sir”

April 07, 2010 12:05 PM

Knock Knock. “Don’t come in!”
I’m virtually naked
(Watching J. Springer)

April 07, 2010 12:06 PM

People stare at me
When I sing Happy Birthday
My voice is horrid

April 07, 2010 12:06 PM

Book report on "Jaws"
tried to cheat and just watch film
endings not the same

Teacher called me out
in front of the entire class
looked like a dumbass.

April 07, 2010 12:13 PM

I'm 40-years old
Yet I'm still embarrassed when
Purchasing condoms

Yet for some reason
I don't feel embarrassed if
The cashier is black

April 07, 2010 1:06 PM

Every school photo
From ages 5 to 15
Coke bottle glasses

From 12 to 15
Add some braces to the mix
Embarrassing life

April 07, 2010 2:01 PM

Dissed by a blind man
Stumbled into him, he asked:
"Who's blind, me or you?"

April 07, 2010 3:21 PM

Chick ignored stop sign
I screamed at her from my bike
Turned out she was right

April 07, 2010 3:39 PM

Worked with a girl who
tried to demonstrate break dance
she did a spin fart

April 07, 2010 4:51 PM

teenage appearance
constantly embarrassing
i never looked good

glasses and braces
cheap "supercuts" type hairdo
not much acne though

i'd no fashion sense
one fine day in junior high
paired danskins with boots

another fine day
demo'd new type of blusher
sported orange cheeks

remember sun-in?
i'd forgotten about it
until this topic

April 07, 2010 4:54 PM

Hanging out with Brent
Kid runs in holding dildo
Swear it was a prop!

April 07, 2010 4:55 PM

I worked at the Y
Sun-in turned my hair orange
Chlorine made it green

Green was not in style
got accused of snotty hair
yes, I know Sun-in

April 07, 2010 4:59 PM

another fine day
trumpet fart in assembly
yes cat that was me

April 07, 2010 4:59 PM

AC you fooled me
thought you were the quiet one
you little stinker

Got high before class
big mistake, Mr. Battles
made me read out loud

April 07, 2010 5:07 PM

My first chance at sex
I told her "I'm not ready"
A costly error

April 07, 2010 5:15 PM

A bad day at work
bitching about co-worker
she's right behind me

A bad day at school
bitching about my boyfriend
he's on the phone line

Bad day at Walmart
bitch about store manager
he's in the next aisle

April 07, 2010 5:25 PM

Can of shaving cream
bad substitute for hammer
leaves me foam covered

Friend on vacation
Let’s smoke up in his backyard
Neighbors called the cops

Cops and dogs dispatched
We ran, but they ran faster
Busted smoking pot

Stuffed stash down my pants
Cop said, “Is that your dick, kid?”
My reply, “Yes, Sir.”

April 07, 2010 5:42 PM

Age 11, shit my pants
Buried them in grandma's yard
I bet they're still there

Radio station
Worked there at school for 1 day
I never went back

I bailed on this job
Refused to go on air 'live'
Social phobia

April 07, 2010 5:59 PM

Tried to sneak car out,
pushing it out of driveway.
Burt was not happy.

At sixteen I thought
I could physically push
a Buick Regal

April 07, 2010 6:00 PM

Why is it "okay"
for guys to drop fart bombs?
Social death for chicks.

I mistakenly
let one go in science class.
Teasing went for weeks!

April 07, 2010 6:07 PM

In fourth grade recess,
wrap around skirt comes unwrapped.
Flashed entire school.

April 07, 2010 6:12 PM

I curse those damn skirts
wind gust, blows open, exposed!
a flap-around skirt

On job interview
Noticed after shirt undone
and I got the job

April 07, 2010 6:57 PM

Telemarketer
in college. I was busted
for faking phone calls.

Gave myself away.
Never hit a single "goal."
(Cause it was torture!)

April 07, 2010 6:59 PM