What's scarier than regular old air travel these days? Snakes on crack.
That's how Samuel L. Jackson — who plays the kind of FBI agent we'd like to have aboard every flight — refers to the slew of serpents that infiltrate a jet bound for Los Angeles from Honolulu.
Though Snakes on a Plane (* * ½ out of four) is cheesy, campy B-movie fun, thanks mostly to the cadre of cobras and their ilk and also to Jackson (probably the only actor alive who could pull off this save-the-day bad ass movie role) there is also something educational to be gleaned here: Snakes are not indigenous to Hawaii and they don't attack unless provoked.
We learn that these massive, slithery multi-colored specimens hail from around the world and are incited to prey viciously on airline passengers because of pheromones sprayed on the flowery leis that fill the plane.
But that's about it for basic herpetology or Discovery Channel data. Or for anything that resembles sense.
The plot is as inconsequential as a garter snake. The reptiles are actually there to bring down a passenger who witnessed a murder and is planning to testify against an evil mobster (Byron Lawson).
After Jackson saves the witness, a surfer who was in the wrong place at the wrong time (Nathan Phillips), the mobster hatches his hideous plan: hiding dozens of poisonous asps in the cargo hold, poised for easy release.
Though much of the acting is clunky and the dialogue as ridiculous as one might expect, the snake attacks are what it's all about. And those are fairly inspired. Those who love a thrill-ride disaster movie and buckets of spurting blood will have a great time with Snakes.
The insidious slitherers don't waste their efforts inserting their venom into arms and legs and other run-of-the-mill body parts. Without giving too much away, suffice it to say that the snakes seem particularly drawn to naughty bits. And, when it comes to those private parts, they're equal opportunity attackers, so both men and women will wince as the snakes lunge for their targets.
Classic stupid-funny lines abound. One is already notorious: Jackson?s ?I want these mother------- snakes off this mother------- plane" may become the ?Make My Day? of this era. At least it?s likely to dog Jackson the way ?You dirty rat? defined Cagney.
With the current new air travel rules, Jackson?s comment to a fellow FBI agent resonates hilariously: ?You know all those security scenarios we ran through? We?re smack in the middle of one we didn?t think of.?
Stewardess Juliana Margulies actually asks at one point, bringing to mind Airplane "Does anyone here know how to fly a plane?"
Where's Leslie Nielsen when you need him? After Jackson, SNL's Kenan Thompson gets some of the movie's funnier lines and has some nice on-screen chemistry with Jackson as the two take the controls.
But the plot is almost immaterial. So are most of the co-stars. There's a tacked-on budding romance between Margulies and Jackson. But we really don't care. It's all about the creepy cobras and their various counterparts (450 snakes were used in the movie, including a 22-foot long Burmese python).
Spoiler Alert: Though one could hardly call Snakes on a Plane ground-breaking, this may be the only contemporary movie that has dared to hurt a dog along with piles of humans. But, don't expect an outcry. We're talking about a Chihuahua named Mary Kate, not Lassie or Old Yeller.
Thankfully, it's not completely predictable who will bite the dust (or get bitten by slimy fangs), though there is a morality inherent in the reptilian rampages. Let's just say that mile-highers might think twice about that airline pastime.
I feel like this comment I made a few months ago is relevant to one of these articles JPX posted:
"Still, I contend that loosing snakes on a plane is the stupidest way to assassinate a specific person. Animals just aren't predictable. There's a Sherlock Holmes story I recently read in which the killer fixes it so there's a snake in the bed of his victim, and it takes SEVERAL TRIES before the snake bites her."
And also this, which I pulled off some site:
POSSIBLE "SURPRISE" ENDINGS TO THE NEW SAMUEL L. JACKSON FILM SNAKES ON A PLANE."Scenario Two: After single-handedly killing all snakes on board and landing the plane, Jackson steps onto the tarmac and removes his trench coat only to reveal that he is, in fact, made entirely out of snakes."
Not relevant, but funny.
Snakes on a Plane!
August 18, 2006 9:14 AM
[Image] By Scott Bowles, USA TODAY LOS ANGELES — Snakes on a Plane is one of the few films in Hollywood history that built a cult following before it even hit the big screen. But that's not necessarily a recipe for success. Despite nabbing magazine covers, late-night talk-show spots and Internet real estate that has become the envy of the entertainment industry, the Samuel L. Jackson thriller is hardly the guaranteed hit some pundits predicted it would be only a few weeks ago.
The R-rated movie is tracking softly. Fans weren't exactly camping out to see the first screening. Snakes opened in more than 200 cities Thursday at 10 p.m.
AMC Entertainment, one of the nation's largest theater chains, says that none of its 265 theaters carrying the movie sold out of its advance tickets.
"We have absolutely no idea what kind of business it's going to do," says Russell Schwartz, head of marketing for Snakes distributor New Line Cinema. "We're really proud of what we managed to do with the movie. But I've heard estimates from $15 million to $50 million. We're eager to see what effect the Internet community has on box office."
That's because the Internet had such a profound effect on the film. No movie opened itself up to more online feedback — and listened. Jackson has said that bloggers helped persuade New Line to retain the popular original title instead of the title dreamed up by studio honchos, Pacific Air Flight 121.
The studio also decided to give fans more sex and gore, which they also demanded, and even added a line suggested by one blogger that has become the catchphrase of summer: "I've had it with these mother(expletive) snakes on this mother(expletive) plane!"
Certainly, studios are no neophytes to the Internet. In 1999, Artisan used a cyberspace campaign to help propel The Blair Witch Project to $140 million.
But Snakes marks one of the first movies to use fan reaction to craft the product itself.
"I think you may see studios paying more attention to the feedback if this is a hit," says Gitesh Pandya of boxofficeguru.com.
"You're not going to see a Yahoo online survey deciding who Ang Lee casts in Brokeback Mountain," he says. "But this will be an interesting test of how many people who support a movie on the Internet support it in the theater."
David Poland of moviecitynews.com thinks the Internet influence has been exaggerated. "It makes for a good story," he says. "But if the movie doesn't succeed, it's going to be because the marketing didn't reach the audience it needed to. Movies still depend on old-fashioned advertising, like TV commercials. The Internet isn't going to make or break Snakes on a Plane."
Perhaps, but it has given the $30 million movie unexpected publicity, and Schwartz considers it lightning in a bottle. "There are two things that are certain about this movie," he says. "One, no one really knows what kind of business it will do. And two, we'll never be able to do this again."
"'Snakes' might not benefit from Net effect"
2 Comments -
USA TODAY
What's scarier than regular old air travel these days?
Snakes on crack.
That's how Samuel L. Jackson — who plays the kind of FBI agent we'd like to have aboard every flight — refers to the slew of serpents that infiltrate a jet bound for Los Angeles from Honolulu.
Though Snakes on a Plane (* * ½ out of four) is cheesy, campy B-movie fun, thanks mostly to the cadre of cobras and their ilk and also to Jackson (probably the only actor alive who could pull off this save-the-day bad ass movie role) there is also something educational to be gleaned here: Snakes are not indigenous to Hawaii and they don't attack unless provoked.
We learn that these massive, slithery multi-colored specimens hail from around the world and are incited to prey viciously on airline passengers because of pheromones sprayed on the flowery leis that fill the plane.
But that's about it for basic herpetology or Discovery Channel data. Or for anything that resembles sense.
The plot is as inconsequential as a garter snake. The reptiles are actually there to bring down a passenger who witnessed a murder and is planning to testify against an evil mobster (Byron Lawson).
After Jackson saves the witness, a surfer who was in the wrong place at the wrong time (Nathan Phillips), the mobster hatches his hideous plan: hiding dozens of poisonous asps in the cargo hold, poised for easy release.
Though much of the acting is clunky and the dialogue as ridiculous as one might expect, the snake attacks are what it's all about. And those are fairly inspired. Those who love a thrill-ride disaster movie and buckets of spurting blood will have a great time with Snakes.
The insidious slitherers don't waste their efforts inserting their venom into arms and legs and other run-of-the-mill body parts. Without giving too much away, suffice it to say that the snakes seem particularly drawn to naughty bits. And, when it comes to those private parts, they're equal opportunity attackers, so both men and women will wince as the snakes lunge for their targets.
Classic stupid-funny lines abound. One is already notorious: Jackson?s ?I want these mother------- snakes off this mother------- plane" may become the ?Make My Day? of this era. At least it?s likely to dog Jackson the way ?You dirty rat? defined Cagney.
With the current new air travel rules, Jackson?s comment to a fellow FBI agent resonates hilariously: ?You know all those security scenarios we ran through? We?re smack in the middle of one we didn?t think of.?
Stewardess Juliana Margulies actually asks at one point, bringing to mind Airplane "Does anyone here know how to fly a plane?"
Where's Leslie Nielsen when you need him? After Jackson, SNL's Kenan Thompson gets some of the movie's funnier lines and has some nice on-screen chemistry with Jackson as the two take the controls.
But the plot is almost immaterial. So are most of the co-stars. There's a tacked-on budding romance between Margulies and Jackson. But we really don't care. It's all about the creepy cobras and their various counterparts (450 snakes were used in the movie, including a 22-foot long Burmese python).
Spoiler Alert: Though one could hardly call Snakes on a Plane ground-breaking, this may be the only contemporary movie that has dared to hurt a dog along with piles of humans. But, don't expect an outcry. We're talking about a Chihuahua named Mary Kate, not Lassie or Old Yeller.
Thankfully, it's not completely predictable who will bite the dust (or get bitten by slimy fangs), though there is a morality inherent in the reptilian rampages. Let's just say that mile-highers might think twice about that airline pastime.
August 18, 2006 5:15 AM
Snakes on a Plane!
I feel like this comment I made a few months ago is relevant to one of these articles JPX posted:
"Still, I contend that loosing snakes on a plane is the stupidest way to assassinate a specific person. Animals just aren't predictable. There's a Sherlock Holmes story I recently read in which the killer fixes it so there's a snake in the bed of his victim, and it takes SEVERAL TRIES before the snake bites her."
And also this, which I pulled off some site:
POSSIBLE "SURPRISE" ENDINGS TO THE NEW SAMUEL L. JACKSON FILM SNAKES ON A PLANE."Scenario Two: After single-handedly killing all snakes on board and landing the plane, Jackson steps onto the tarmac and removes his trench coat only to reveal that he is, in fact, made entirely out of snakes."
Not relevant, but funny.
Snakes on a Plane!
August 18, 2006 9:14 AM