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(2011) *

Two unappealing “bored” teens leave their privileged suburban existence to get their “dicks wet” in Mexico. The first few minutes of the film are shot through the POV of their video camera and we are treated to inane discussions about booze and whores. While screwing “whores” in Mexico, there is an accident, which renders Nico’s prostitute quite dead. From here the story jumps back and forth between the aftermath of this death and the present day where the parents of the boys are having dinner and wondering about their kids’ mysterious disappearance. The only evidence they have of the teens’ trip is the Lament Configuration and their video camera, which shows the jerks screwing around until a blurry Pinhead shows up. During this dinner Steven’s sister finds and plays with the Lament Configuration, which opens and somehow brings a disheveled Steven back, babbling about Cenobites. Excitement over Steven’s return is quickly quelled when Pinhead and his brethren show up demanding flesh, or something like that.

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Pinhead looks like a total wuss in Hellraiser: Revelations

The 9th entry of the Hellraiser series is flaccid on arrival. Although this is another stand-alone tale like all of the direct-to-DVD Hellraiser sequels have been, it actually plays more like a (really crappy) remake of the original. It is glaringly obvious that the budget was very small as evidenced by the poor Cenobite make-up and the fact that most of the film takes place on 2 sets; Steven’s living room and Pinhead’s world. Pinhead’s world, by the way, resembles a dirty garage in much need of a sweeping with a few chains hanging from the ceiling. The lazy script violates the Cenobite “rules” established in the previous 8 films. For example, In Hellraiser: Revelations Pinhead spends most of his time hanging out in his dirty garage world eavesdropping on the characters in the real world – since when can he do that? The actor playing Pinhead is so goofy looking that he is laughable and never frightening. Doug Bradley wisely decided to sit this one out. Hellraiser: Revelations is an obvious cash-grab and it is abysmal stuff. It is by far the worst entry in the Hellraiser series and probably signals Pinhead’s death knell.